They say there’s a first time for everything. Problem is, some firsts aren’t things we ever want to experience again.
Witness what happened to me over the weekend:
I was driving my dear mom out to dinner on Friday night and made a brief stop at our post office to pick up mail from two of my clients.
On the way out, I got behind a woman who was sashaying slowly; rather than race ahead of her (which I kind of wanted to do!), I slowed, too.
For the sake of clarity, we’ll call her Fat Chick.
Now I know that sounds mean, but I have my reasons. First off, she was.
Large, I mean.
She was dressed in a low-cut tank top, short-shorts, and flip-flops, and she had her fair share of tattoos. (This is important, trust me!)
Imagine my surprise when Fat Chick ambles right to MY car, takes hold of the handle, and opens the door!
Before she could get in, I holler, “Excuse me, but that’s my car!”
She looks at me with some bewilderment, gives me a mostly toothless grin, says she thought it was her car, and apologizes, before moseying to the car parked in front of mine.
Now, here’s one thing you need to know — her car looked NOTHING like mine! Different make, different size, different color, and mine had Mom seated in the passenger area.
Here’s another thing you need to know — I had on Capris, a Polo shirt, a windbreaker, and sneakers. No visible fat. No tattoos. All my teeth, thank you very much!
So when I got in, I asked Mom what she thought about Fat Chick trying to take my place. Do you know what she said?
“I thought it was you!”
Aaagh!!
Musings by an ND Domer's Mom 
Haha! Oh no, your mom cannot have meant that! This did make me chuckle.
Glad you got a laugh out of it, Lucy! I’m able to laugh, too, now that it’s over, ha!
Given the fact that a fellow confused my car for his at the meat market last week, I can understand that. He was reaching for the handle before he realized there already was someone sitting in the driver’s seat.
As for your mom’s statement, I can understand that if she was really not paying attention. She assumed it would be you getting in, so she assumed it was you getting in. I suspect a better look might have cleared up her confusion. 😉
You had something similar happen to you, Linda?? Wow, people must be completely preoccupied not to notice their surroundings — probably a good idea to keep one’s doors locked, huh?
In Mom’s defense, she never even looked at the “trespasser.” She’d never had something like this happen before, either, and when she heard the door open, she merely assumed it was me! I do wonder what she’d have done, had the woman slid behind the wheel, though!!
*laughing lots* Noooo! Your mom must not have been looking rightly right! Yes, that’s it. I would’ve been so vexed. I think that woman was trying to steal your car, too. This was so hilarious. I feel bad about laughing, but…
You know, Professor, she might have been trying to steal my car. *growls*
If she was, she had a perfectly naive excuse, didn’t she? Of course, I had the keys, so she wasn’t going anywhere!
Do you really feel bad about laughing? You shouldn’t, you know. I find it a completely ridiculous story — guess that’s why they say truth is stranger than fiction!
*laughs a little more* Well, if you don’t mind me laughing…! I bet she wanted to mess with the wires, and steal it that way. Goodness. People do strange things.
Go ahead and laugh, Professor. You know you want to!! I hate to say this, but she didn’t look as if she’d know where the wires were. Hey, maybe that’s her angle??!
*laughs* The whole thing is a wonder!
Haha! Mothers are put on this earth to ensure our egos never get out of control… 😉
Isn’t that the truth, FF?!? Part of me knows Mom was merely kidding, but the other part wonders if I shouldn’t lose a few pounds, just to be on the safe side, you know!!
Sounds like an eye appointment for dear mom is in her future, ha! And probably should be for the other lady, too!
Too funny, Suzi! As a matter of fact, dear mom does have an eye appointment coming up, but I don’t think vision is her problem (it’s more like complete oblivion, ha!) As for that other woman, she, too, seemed a bit dazed. What is it about Friday afternoon that puts folks in a fog?!
Mom!!! Goodness, Debbie. She wasn’t looking at all obviously! No way you could have been mistaken for the large poorly dress woman who wanted to politely steal your car. Yicky…now I have a visual. Ugh.
HaHa, you crack me up, Audrey!! You know, if I didn’t want to give this gal the benefit of the doubt, I’d think she was trying to steal my car, too — good thing I always take my keys with me! Poor Mom — I love picking at her, especially on stuff like this. You’re right, of course — she wasn’t even looking. She’s so used to me hopping in and out of the driver’s seat that she’s become complacent. Sorry to have spoiled a few moments with that visual, heehee!!
““I thought it was you!”
Aaagh!!”
HAHAHAHAHAHA! OMG, don’t you LOVE mothers!?! But I’m sure she was just kidding.
I have to tell you though, Debbie, this also happened to me. Many years ago, I went to get into my car in a mall parking lot and couldn’t figure out WHY the key wouldn’t open the door. HA! It was the wrong car! And honestly, the car looked nothing like mine. I’ve also done this at a 7-11 and got into the wrong car; thinking it was mine. OMG…I was so embarrassed because the owner the car saw me do it!
Have a faaaaabulous week, my friend!!!!
X
You actually did that, Ron?? Oh, wow, how embarrassed you must have been, especially when the owner saw you doing it!! This poor woman was so laid back, I don’t think she was even very embarrassed (probably had done it before, ha!)
No, Mom wasn’t kidding! In her defense though, she never saw the other woman. I guess it happened too fast for it all to register in her brain. Remember, something like this had never happened to her, either! I imagine she’ll be more careful now about locking the doors while she’s sitting inside and waiting, ha!
Hope your week is going well!
OH this is too too funny for words. I laughed hard and when my teen came back to the car (we were picking up pups) I told him and he laughed harder. Now, my sweet Mom would not make this mistake but my dear dad would have let her in the car,they would have driven away, had dinner and gone home together. Really until the Dob girls were suspicious he would have been clueless. And by the way, I have made this same mistake (maybe more than once) I drive a blue Honda blue Odyssey and hopped into a red Honda Pilot to the surprise of the gentlemen already in the car. Not everyone is a Virgo – doncha know. 😀
So glad to have added to your amusement, Katybeth! I agree it’s funny NOW. Then? Not so much. Your poor dad — Mom isn’t really clueless, just a “helpless” passenger, who, I’m sure, couldn’t react fast enough to hop out. Good thing she wasn’t really in danger!
You’ve done this?? Well, thanks for admitting it! I imagine it’s easier to do than my Virgo brain would admit. Bet the guy in the red Pilot *was* surprised to have a new passenger — how funny!!
This one is great Debbie. Reminded me of the time when living in an Illinois suburb where houses tend to look alike and accidently went to the wrong house at 1:00 in the morning. I put my key in the lock, and it broke off. An enormous and angry guy threw open the door and asked me not so kindly what my problem was that time of night. I could only ask him what he was doing in my house. (I did have a little too much firewater) Lucky for me, the question caused him to laugh out loud, and I repaired his lock the next day
Love this, John — Audrey’s right, you ARE a storyteller! And blaming it on the firewater is a handy excuse, right?! 😉 You’re fortunate the homeowner had a sense of humor — and he’s fortunate you’re an honorable break in artist!!
*smiles*
Haha this was brilliant! Though my aunt wins the prize on this one: she was once in a massive hurry, thought she saw the taxi she’d booked, jumped in the backseat and barked at the driver to step on it. It wasn’t a taxi but the poor driver was so terrified he drove off anyway…
Hi, Claire, and thanks for visiting! Loved the story about your aunt — wow, she must be an impressive woman to get somebody to do her bidding like that!!
S U P E R B !!!!!!! LOLLLLLLLLLLLlllll
Thanks for dropping by, Kim! Glad it put a smile on your face! xoxo
Ohhh the ending made me laugh so much!! I wonder how far that would have gone had you not been behind her telling her it was your car! I mean, would she have tried to drive away?!! GREAT laugh for my Friday, thanks!
So tickled you got a laugh out of this one, Christy! She couldn’t have driven off — she didn’t have the keys, which were in my pocket. Nevertheless, I just know I’d have had to fumigate and sterilize my seat, had she hopped in (yes, that sounds uncharitable, but you didn’t see her!!)
Funny story. Your mom’s reaction was the icing on the cake. Love it!
Glad you enjoyed it, Monica! Nothing like Mom putting me in my place, ha!
Okay, this is pretty funny – especially your mom’s comment! It would be hard not to be a wee bit offended 🙂 My aunt told this funny story about getting in the wrong car before… the funny thing was how she described the look on the man’s face after it happened.
Don’t you know it!! You’d expect something catty like that from your sister, but never your mom, ha!