I am an immaculate housekeeper. I’m clean, but the house is a mess. ~Phyllis Diller, American stand-up comedian, actress, author, and more.
I Monkey here.
Mama seems to think this blog is hers, but I’m here to remind you — it’s all about me. Or at least it should be.
Anyway, the other day, Mama was at one of those big box stores and started down the pet aisle. Hanging from a metal pole was this odd-looking device:
Kinda reminds you of something medieval, doesn’t it? Something that might be used to torture somebody with those “teeth” inside?
Here’s a side view of the thing:
Better, but now it looks more like a horse’s feed bag!
Well, Mama was intrigued. She read the instructions on the back of the package and decided that $5 wasn’t too much to invest to see if this rubbery device could do what it proposed to do.
That is, clean my Monkey feet after I romp through the rain-soaked mud in my back yard.
See, Mama’s already invested — heavily — in other foot-cleaners, among which are towels, a plastic bucket to soak my feet in, and something called a Muddy Mat (more on that later).
But she’s complaining all the time about her achy back — because of having to bend over and clean my feet every time I go out and come back in. Which, in fairness to Mama, is a pretty good lot.
Not that I have a tiny bladder. It’s more like because I’m such a curious little Monkey, I’ve got tons of energy that demands to be released by running around outdoors, and because the stupid cats and rabbits and squirrels won’t stay out of MY yard.
Humph!
Anyway, perhaps it’s a good thing Mama didn’t break the bank by buying this gizmo because it’s not much better than the bucket-and-towel routine.
Sure, it sounds easy enough. Add a bit of water to the pouch, dip the pup’s paw inside, swish it around so the “teeth” grab the dirt, remove paw from cleaner, and dry off with the micro-towel that’s provided.
BUT. The “micro” towel is so micro that it’s completely soaked after Mama does just one of my paws. What’s she supposed to do with the other three??
Drip-dry isn’t an option.
And … the thing doesn’t sit up by itself either. Oh, yeah, there’s a handy-dandy clip, but I can imagine water ALL over the floor when Mama leans down, sticks my paw inside, then grabs for that tiny towel.
As for the Muddy Mat, well, the jury is still out, as Mama’s fond of saying. She hopes it will at least sop up most of the rainwater that I Monkey bring inside, but she doubts it will scrub off the mud.
That’s still her job, heh heh.
Signing off for now, I Monkey – backyard mud champion
Musings by an ND Domer's Mom 
Hey there, backyard mud champion!
Sorry to hear that the paw cleaner didn’t work. But then again, I’m not surprised because many newfangled inventions created to make something easier, often makes it more difficult. Sometimes the “original” way ends up being the most effective way.
Lately, with all the rain we’ve been having, I’ve had to clean my shoes after taking them off because of the rainwater and city street dirt attached, rather than dragging it all thru my apartment.
Always a delight seeing that you posted, Monk! Enjoyed!
Wishing you and Mama a fantastic Sunday and Memorial Day!
X
P.S. I love that quote by Phyllis Diller! LOL!
Aw, Mr. Ron, isn’t that the truth? So “many newfangled inventions created to make something easier, often makes it more difficult.” Poor Mama thought she’d found a creative solution to my muddy paws, but sadly, she didn’t. At least she didn’t spend a whole lot of money on the thing!
Isn’t that quote by Phyllis Diller the best? I Monkey didn’t know who she was, but Mama said I should include it anyway because many of our readers would. And it perfectly fits Mama’s frustrations with keeping a clean house … with my monkey paws so attracted to mud, heh heh!
Hope you enjoy your Memorial Day! XX
My heart goes out to your mama and her aching back! Too bad the newfangled paw cleaner didn’t work so well — sigh. We got a shoe scraper for our front door but I still have to pull out the vacuum after we arrive home from walks in the woods. In the end, some tedious chores are everlasting and unavoidable.
Miss Barbara, I Monkey am wondering now if a shoe scraper might be a good solution for my muddy paws. On second thought, I guess Mama would still have to bend over and use the thing, so even if it worked, she wouldn’t be helping her back any. I Monkey think the solution is for it to quit raining so much — but neither Mama nor I can control that!
I loved Phyllis Diller! Comedy was so different then (and better in many ways).
Did this thing come in various sizes? It does look a bit medieval with those teeth!
I’ve been tempted by those mats, but nothing ever seems to work as well as promised. I’m afraid the backbreaking towel routine is still the best option!
I know you aren’t intentionally driving your mama crazy, Monkey. 😉
Hi Miss Kelly! I Monkey asked Mama, and she said she didn’t see any other sizes. They only offered two different colors (blue for boy dogs and pink for girls — not very original, if you ask me!)
The mat seems to work okay for just water, but thus far, Mama hasn’t been able to train me to rub my paws back and forth to get the mud off. I’ll let her try training me to do that for a while. I’m pretty smart, but stubborn! She’s just going to have to use the bucket and towel, I suspect.
Poor Mama, Monkey. I can just imagine the search for a good paw cleaning system. The bucket and towel seems to be the best approach. I think you should give Mama extra kisses. Maybe that will help her sore back.
Mr. John, I Monkey am ready at all times with kisses for my mama! And at least I stand real still while she’s doing the bucket-and-towel dance. But you know, those “teeth” on that paw-cleaning device didn’t feel too good on my paws anyway, so maybe it’s okay that it didn’t work so well. As for that tiny towel, phooey!
Ha ha ha.
Mud Champion Monkey, that gizmo looks like my mama would convert it into a mustache cleaner for me, Yorkie. I am on a mission to hide mama’s Miss Red Apple before she can read your post! Perhaps under our mud mat, hee, hee. My mama will never think to look there, hee, hee.
I think you could push a wooden chair next to your mud mat, water bucket and towels station for your mama to sit in while she is mastering the cleanliness of your paws to her satisfaction. That might end the back ache bend torture.
But you Monkey must rid that gizmo with the wicked teeth. You must must must deposit it in the trash can as quickly as practicable when your mama’s not looking before she trades you in for a clean quite doggo stuffie!
Hey Yorkie! I Monkey have just about convinced Mama to throw that device with the evil teeth into the trash can. She can’t take it back to the store, now that she’s washed the stupid tiny towel, and neither of them work anyway. So, good idea about getting rid of it altogether. (And no, she didn’t shrink that towel — it came tiny like that!)
Hmm, a chair for Mama to sit on while she’s bending over my muddy paws? What a good thought! I wonder why Mama didn’t think of it? I’ll tell her you suggested it — when ideas like this come from smart doggos like you, she’s bound to listen.
Ha ha ha, your mama didn’t shrink that towel! 😂🤣😂 It must have been manufactured by tiny humans with large teeth. 😁 I’m happy to hear you have been able to convince your mama where it belongs! 🐾🐾
I Monkey think she’s pretty mad with herself for sinking $5 into something that stupid, hee hee!
Your mama is barking up the wrong tree, Monkey(hehe). It’s dog-nature to be a muddy-mess! 😂
Ah-ha, Miss Eliza! I Monkey think you might be right. Try telling that to Mama though. She seems to think I’m an inside dog and should behave thusly. Humph! Who wants to sit around and eat tea and crumpets when there are cats and squirrels to chase … and mud to romp through?!?
Right! 😀
Two little pairs of yellow wellies, that’s what you need, Monkey! And learn to wipe your feet on the mat as you come in! My cats had a foolproof method of foot-cleaning which you may want to try. They’d come in the cat-flap, race through the kitchen, jump straight onto my knee and clean their feet on my sweater. It’d be fun for you, though your mama may not like the idea so much… 😉
Yellow wellies?? Yes, FF, I Monkey like that idea … and I think I’d look right pretty in yellow! Mama might not appreciate having to “boot me up” every time I wanted to go outside, but it could work. Not only for rainy weather, but also for snow. Brilliant!!
The principle of this gizmo’s the same as the boot cleaners we people use, but like ours, it isn’t a perfect solution. There’s always a little mud or rock or water left to deal with; it’s one of the downsides of living in a natural world! Just tell our mama she should be glad she only has to deal with muddy paws. I know a certain pup who can’t keep from rolling in mud every time she gets a chance. Even her people’s hope that hosing her down before letting her in the house hasn’t dissuaded her!
Oh dear. Miss Linda, I Monkey just know Mama would have a hissy-fit if I were to roll in mud!
Oh, Monkey, if there is just one thing you need to learn to become the perfect dog, it is to wipe your muddy paws off before you come back in Mama’s house. I know it’s hard (Finn hasn’t learned how to do this either), but trust me, if you learn that simple trick, your mom will forgive almost everything else. Think about it……
You think so, Miss Ann? Even when I Monkey vomit on her rug? Well, if what you say is true, then yes, I will definitely think about it. As for mastering that new trick, well, I’m pretty sure we didn’t get introduced to foot wiping in Puppy School.
Oh, well! Worth a try. We always went with the bucket and towel method.
Miss Laurie, I Monkey think Mama’s gonna have to do that, too … achy back or not. All these fancy doo-dahs are only designed to cost money!