Rockin’ the Shaggy-Faced Look

As any mom can attest, Boys will be boys, right?

And it doesn’t seem to matter how old the “boy” is supposed to be, either.

Take my son (AKA My Favorite Domer), for instance. He and his bro friends read online where some guys somewhere were initiating a “No Shave Conclave,” letting their facial hair grow until the Catholic Cardinals elected a new Pope.

What does shaving have to do with the Pope??

I didn’t ask.

Anyway, a “No Shave Conclave” sounded like a good idea to Domer’s group, so they decided to join in.

As Fate would have it, the new Pope was named in about three days, giving Domer and his friends barely enough time to sprout a few hairs.

That would never do. They opted to extend the “experiment” through the Men’s NCAA Basketball Tournament.

Because they were going with the team to Dayton, Ohio, as part of the Basketball Band, and they figured they’d be there a while.

Again, Fate intervened. The Irish men lost their first game in the second round.

Which still wasn’t enough time to grow a proper beard.

Or so I’m told.

What would I know? I’ve never tried to grow one!

When Domer called to say he was coming home for a few days over Easter Break, he mentioned the “No Shave Conclave.” And I laughed right along with him, assuming of course, that now these “events” were over, he’d join the one member of his group to abandon the Grizzly Adams look.

Imagine my surprise upon seeing my precious son’s face covered in fur!

Some moms might disagree with me, but I’ve learned over the years that this, too, will pass.

Besides, it could have been so much worse — think tattoos. Or pierced ears. Or refusing to shower. At all!

So I’ve restrained myself from making any comments one way or the other.

It’s his face, not mine.

He’s the one having to bear the itching. And the upkeep.

Hair grows at the rate of one-half inch per month, more or less, depending on factors like genetics. Men “in the know” claim it’s a rite of passage to grow a beard, that it separates the men from the boys (and girls), and that it’s fun.

Well, okay, I guess.

Having him home — even for a few days — is so worthwhile, it doesn’t much matter whether he’s scruffy-faced or not.

27 thoughts on “Rockin’ the Shaggy-Faced Look

  1. Very wise Mom, Debbie , for picking your battles selectively! At least you can vent with us(all while entertaining us) so you can keep your lips zipped in Domer’s company. Oh, how I relate to those days. Yes, this too shall pass.

    Have a wonderful Easter!

    • I just KNEW my friends who are moms of boys would understand, Kathy! Thanks for sympathizing. I’m glad to know it will pass — at least, I’m keeping my fingers crossed it will, ha! Happy Easter to you and your family — give Max a big hug!

  2. My son and his friends let their hair grow out once….yes, it was just a phase! It’s only hair whether on the head or face!

    • “It’s only hair.” YES, Suzi, I keep telling myself that! Still, with Commencement right around the corner and all those photos. . . well, we shall see. Perhaps I can hope his friends give up on the experiment and he will follow suit. Happy Easter — hug Wylie for me!

  3. Oh, what a charming post, Debbie!

    “Having him home — even for a few days — is so worthwhile, it doesn’t much matter whether he’s scruffy-faced or not.”

    And what a wonderful mother you are!

    Being a man who has a beard, I can tell ya, it’s A LOT of upkeep if you want to keep it looking trimmed and neat. So trust me, once your son realizes how much work a beard entails, I bet he’ll cut it off 🙂

    If we don’t speak before then, Happy Easter to you and your family!


    • Bless you for saying that, Ron — a mom just can’t hear often enough that she’s doing a good job!

      I’ve heard that beards are a lot of upkeep. Domer has a very bearded friend who is serving as their “go-to expert” in the experiment. He was the one who told them to bide their time and the itching would subside. Domer is the kind of “neat-nik” who will prefer a trimmed beard, so perhaps this phase will pass uneventfully. We can only hope, ha!

      Thanks for stopping by and Happy, Happy Easter to you as well!

  4. Such a smart Mom. It could be SO MUCH WORSE. Tattoo!! I would hate that so much. Piercings!! YUCK. The whole sock issue!! Facial hair….well a great many wonderful men have donned beards….including Dearly Departed Joe. I loved it. It was wild and crazy and so him. Yep, phases come and go and smart Moms ride through them whenever they can (hair today, gone tomorrow) .our boys will be boys and would we have it any other way? Not me. Bet your glad to be celebrating Easter with your best boy!

    • Ah, Katybeth, you, too, will see! The hard part is remembering how much money I’ve spent on acne doctors and medicines, to finally have all that cleared up and he goes and covers his face with HAIR!! Well, it IS only hair, I guess, and a beard IS removable. Plus, it’s not like he shaved his entire head or anything, thankfully!

      Yes, I’m just thrilled he wanted to be home for Easter, especially since he didn’t get a Spring Break. That occurred during the men’s Big East tournament, and he was in NYC with the Band.

      Happy Easter to you and Cole — Rascal and the campers, too!

  5. Boys will boys is right. Right now my college son is in to the clean cut look…as in have your hair buzz cut by housemates to save money…always interesting! Treasure you time together and as long as he still likes chocolate, I wouldn’t worry. Happy Easter!

    • Funny you should mention chocolate, Pat. Domer never was much of a sweets-eater (probably why he never got cavities like his mama did, haha!). Your son’s clean cut look sounds interesting, provided his housemates know what they’re doing. Happy Easter to you and your family!

  6. Glad you’re getting some break time with him.

    it comes with the Y chromosome. We have to see what will happen if we grow a beard. The best part of having surgery at the end of 2011 and being out of uniform for a few weeks was that I could grow a beard.

    • Thanks for the manly perspective, Oma. Yes, I guess it is a guy-thing. Sometimes we all have to try stuff, just because we can. Kind of like girls dying their hair green on St. Paddy’s Day (or because it matches their favorite outfit, haha!) I’m not sure I’d have chosen THIS time — so close to Commencement — for the growing-stage, but I respect his right to do so.

  7. I’m with you, Debbie. Let it go and this too shall pass. My son went through beards, mustaches (but never hair dye, tatoos and the like, thank goodness). And now, he’s almost 28 and clean shaven! He looks terrific and I couldn’t be prouder. Enjoy your time with Domer. It doesn’t get any better than this!

    • Monica, I can’t believe you’ve got a son who’s 28 — you must have married at 13!! I’m glad to hear the “to-shave-or-not-to-shave” phase is one that doesn’t have to last forever — unless he wants it to, of course, because after all, I’m not trying to influence him on this one. Now if he asks. . . 😉

  8. Well, look at it this way. If he does keep his beard for Commencement, I suspect it will be neat and well-trimmed. It he keeps it for years, he’ll look at those photos and say, “That’s the time in my life when I began making some major changes” (or whatever). If he shaves it off a week later, it will give him a chance in twenty years to say, “Good gosh, I was crazy back then.”

    Coming home for Easter and graduating are important. Having a beard or not is a little like deciding to have French rather than raspberry viniagrette on the salad. 😉

    • Linda, your perspective is so refreshing and logical! Sadly, too many parents are quick to leap to emotions with something like this — in 100 years, will it matter whether or not Domer grew a beard?? Probably not. What’s important is WHO he is, not on whether his face is scruffy!! Thanks for stopping by.

  9. I think it’s a sign he should shave…but good call on letting it go. Sometimes making a comment only strengthens the resolve to keep it up because they don’t want it to seem like you have control over what they do.

    • You’re a wise mom, Janna, and this will serve you well in the years ahead! He’s never been particularly rebellious, but you’re right in saying most kids want to feel they have control over SOMETHING. I’ve always been a firm proponent of the picking your battles philosophy. Thanks for weighing in!

    • One hundred percent true, Tanya! He’s my son — fur-faced or clean-shaven — and we all know outward appearances are only part of who a person is. Thanks for sharing your perspective!

      • I think men should go back to beards. Jesus had one. Plus I know it takes a lot to keep up the shaving…for what? Women don’t like beards?….it looks better clean shaven? My husband has a beard and I like it. It’s personal a reference. The main thing is that a man keep himself…NEAT! I think the thing for us as a mom is we remember that sweet little baby face that we saw for many years as a child and it had no beard. We love that face. Put a beard on it and our baby faced little boy is now a man! I love my baby boys! But now they are 28 and 26 years old…men! All grown up now. Life goes on…time marches on and I’ve adjusted to my….men! God bless our sons!!!!

        • Probably depends on the man, whether a beard is a good idea or not. Domer is trying to keep his neat and tidy, so it’s got a chance of growing in and looking just fine. You’re so right, though — we moms DO need to let our sons grow up and express their individuality (as long as that’s not harmful to themselves or others!)

  10. My boys have been in a facial hair phase for what seems like years! I think you were right to refrain from expressing an opinion. When we were that age, we didn’t want our parents telling us how to dress or wear our hair. I figure it’s the same thing with boys and their facial hair. If and when they’re ready to shave, they will.

    • I needed confirmation from one who’s been there before me, Terri. Thanks so much for providing it! As far as I know, he’s still got the beard, but that could change any day. I’m not going to hurry the change along, though, ha!

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