Bye Bye Birdie

Some of you have been kind enough to wonder where I’ve been and what I’ve been up to for the past few days.

A few have even admitted to worrying about me.

Cool! Thanks for the concern. Things have been crazy here, with little slowdown expected in the foreseeable future, but perhaps if I let you in on the craziness, you won’t worry as much.

I think I mentioned My Favorite Domer has a JOB in the Land of the North, and I’m helping him get settled there.

I’ve made three trips up and back in the last two months, no easy feat as it’s a full day’s travel one way!

This last trip, my mom wanted to tag along.

Traveling with Mom is a nightmare an experience.

At first she thought we might stay at Domer’s new apartment, but I nixed that fast.

She has a bladder the size of a grape; no way would he or I ever see the inside of the bathroom!

So we opted for a hotel.

Now Mom wants her hotel room lit up like an airport runway, hot as a greenhouse, and noisy with her snoring. I need darkness, coolness, and quiet.

It’s useless to complain, so I travel with my MP3 and a stuffed bunny (so I can use his floppy ears to shield my eyes from the light).

Don’t judge — you’d find my routine very relaxing.

Anyway, once we got to Domer’s place, I noticed a bird’s nest right outside his door, just as it had been for my previous trip.

‘Didn’t the babies hatch yet?’ I asked.

‘I think so, but I can’t be sure,’ he said.

These birds (some mysterious species prevalent in the Land of the North) have a proclivity toward SWOOPING at Domer every time he uses the door.

They almost landed in my hair last time, and Domer was horrified.

So he avoids them whenever possible, even to pinpointing their typical swooping hours!

Sorry, Mama Bird, but my son is paying good money to live here, whereas you’re camping out for free. That, in itself, seems wrong, but what’s even more aggravating is for you to be teaching your kids to attack my kid.

And that will never do!

‘I’m going to knock that nest down,’ I told Domer. ‘Those babies should have flown off a long time ago. Perhaps if the nest is gone, they’ll all just go away.’

‘I’m not so sure,’ he told me, reaching into his golf bag and handing me a Seven Iron. ‘But have at it.’

And he opened the door to let me out.

‘You’re not going to help?’ I asked, feeling a momentary panic.

‘Nope,’ was all he said.

From behind the closed door.

‘Just let me know when it’s done,’ he added.

My heart was pounding as I reached up with the club, pushed the nest off the downspout, and, finding it empty, chipped it into some tall grasses.

‘Take that, you beasts,’ I thought.

Moral: Don’t ever mess with this Mama Tiger protecting her cub!

31 thoughts on “Bye Bye Birdie

    • I’m glad you’re amused. I suppose it IS a funny image, tiger and bunny coexisting nicely. I do what I have to. When I was Domer’s age, I wouldn’t balk at a night or two with no sleep; that’s not an option any more. Sigh.

  1. Debbie, I have missed you these past few weeks, but I see you’ve been on a very important launch mission. How exciting to help Domer get settled in this next phase of his life. You take these special little moments in time and turn them into a “universal ” adventure. You are so right–it doesn’t pay to mess with Mama Tiger and her cub. Delightful! 🙂

    • Ah, thanks for your sweet words, Kathy. “Launch mission” — I like that! I’m just glad Domer acquiesces to let me help. He knows I’m not the helicopter parent type, but it is reassuring to take care of “business” he doesn’t want to tackle!

  2. Brilliantly and cleverly written post, Debbie! And VERY FUNNY!!!!

    And I died laughing at this….

    “Now Mom wants her hotel room lit up like an airport runway, hot as a greenhouse, and noisy with her snoring. I need darkness, coolness, and quiet.”

    Bwhahahahahahhahahaha! And I laughed because I am the SAME WAY! I need darkness, coolness, and quiet. I’m like a bear…I want to sleep in a dark, cool cave. And what used to drive me crazy with my mother was that she had EVERY light turned on in the house; the television BLARING at full volume; and the air conditioner BARELY on.

    OY VEY!

    Anyway, glad to see you back, dear lady. Looks like the two of us were absent for awhile, hu?


    • Ron, it sounds like we’re cut out of the same cloth! My mom’s mom used to do the same thing — BLARE that TV to where the neighbors could hear it and keep the windows wide open “to let in the summer breezes.” Yikes, who can live like that? Isn’t that why some brilliant soul invented air conditioning?!

      Yep, I, too, am playing catch up, and it’s not easy. My blogging friends lead such interesting lives that I don’t want to miss a single post!

      Thanks for stopping by!

  3. Traveling with a parent can be quite the trip!
    Love the comment about Mama Tiger and her bunny wabbit!
    Now Domer can safely come to and fro.
    So glad there weren’t any eggs or babies in the nest. Funny the places birds pick to build their nests. My MIL had a tiny sparrow build one in the back of a porch chair! DirtMan and I see them a lot in crevices of bridges when we are canoeing.

    • I don’t think I could have knocked the nest down if it had been full, Suzi. I wouldn’t want to be responsible for “killing” baby birdies. It’s hardly their fault their parents built a nest right over Domer’s door!

    • Ya think?? Well, that wasn’t exactly my first thought, but seeing as how you’re a guy and he’s a guy, that probably was exactly what he was trying to do! Nice to be so well taken care of!

  4. Debbie – you made me laugh from the get go on this one – between sleeping with your warm, grape sized bladder snoring mother, to you sleeping with a stuffed bunny to use its ears for eye masks to your son hiding fearfully behind a closed door while you’re out swinging a golf club at the nest of swooping birds – it’s all comedically life! Too funny! Thanks for the smiles and glad he’s settling in – bird nest free.

    • Barb, your comment warms my heart. I’m glad I was able to make you chuckle today, especially since your posts so often have brought me joy! In Domer’s defense, he’ll say he wasn’t afraid — just prudent. But I counter that if he’d wanted to get rid of that nest, he had plenty of time to do so BEFORE I arrived, ha!

    • Domer still wants me to maintain his anonymity — his name and his location. All I’m “allowed” to say is that he’s in The Land of the North. Hope everybody understands! Thanks for stopping by, Pat — always good to see you!

  5. Gotta love how he armed you…and then hid behind the door 🙂 I’m glad the nest was empty and nobody got pecked, I mean, hurt!

    Your description of traveling with your mom made me smile (and the bladder the size of a grape, too funny!) It kind of reminds me of stories my parents told me when they took my grandma to Boston with them (what were they thinking? :)) Not only would she wander off, she would lose her balance constantly. One time, she told them to go ahead without her, that she’d stay in the room. They didn’t get very far and went back- they caught her heading out the front door of the hotel. My grandma had Alzheimer’s, but hadn’t lost her independent spirit.

    • Your parents were BRAVE! I understand that many Alzheimer’s patients have a tendency to wander — no way would I want to be responsible for that!

      You’re right, you know (“What were they thinking?). Traveling with a senior citizen is not for the faint of heart. Mom used to be quite active — golf, tennis, etc. — but she’s become more fearful of falling as the years have gone by. And I’m probably the world’s worst nurse, ha!

  6. Oh, my gosh. Traveling with my mother had its own set of – joys. One of the worst was just trying to get her to actually get a move on. Slow? Oh, my goodness. But imagine this: two hurricane evacuations with mom and the cat. Count your blessings, darlin’. It could be a lot, lot worse!

    It’s great that Domer’s getting settled, and the time you’re spending helping out with the process is probably more appreciated than you realize. I’m not sure I could have taken that seven iron to the bird’s nest, though. You’re tougher than I am!

    Glad to see you around and know what’s happening. Has Domer actually started work yet? Does he like it? (You may have said so, but I’m doing some catching up with posts, too and I may have just missed it.)

    • I remember those hurricane evacuations, Linda — they were a bear! I don’t know how you managed to handle them with an elderly parent (mom was a lot sprier back then!)

      Glad you appreciated the bird’s nest story! Before I knocked it down, I tried to make sure the babies (and their parents) were gone. No noises, no upturned beaks meant the coast was clear for my strike. Then, too, the calendar pretty much assured me the wee ones would have already taken off.

      Domer started work in mid-July. I say ‘work’ very much tongue-in-cheek as he does, though. It seems his new company does a LOT of pre-work training via online videos and lessons, job shadowing, etc., so he doesn’t feel like he’s made much of a contribution yet. His time will come, I keep reminding him!

  7. No wonder you’ve been so busy. All that travel is taking up a lot of time, though I know you’re not complaining since it allows you to see Domer.

    I wonder what kind of bird it was that was swooping? We’ve had swallows try to build nests near the front door, but I don’t recall that they swooped at us. And we always tried to knock the nests down as they were in progress, to encourage the mother bird to make her home elsewhere.

    • I don’t know what kind of bird it was, Terri, but it definitely swooped! I mean, the minute Domer would step out of his front door, and before he could turn around to lock it, they’d start diving and flapping and talking. I never got a good look at them (because of the swooping!), but one of these days, I’d like to ask his apartment manager what kind of bird it is. Because they’ll probably be back next Spring, ha!

  8. Pingback: Duck Duck Swoop | Musings by an ND Domer's Mom

  9. I had to close my eyes when you started poking the nest. I’m so glad it was empty. We have birds that try to nest in an asparagus fern by our door. She’d start to build and I’d take it out. “Build somewhere safer than right by our dog’s entrance,” I’d shout to whoever would listen. The next day, she had puffy stuff in there again. I’d remove it again. We are slow learners. Finally I caught on and moved the plant away from the house and she gave up. We both did. Now I have a nasty-looking pedestal by the door with nothing on it but dirt from the bottom of the now missing fern. By the way, we are empty nesters since our triplets went away to college. BUT, we have two back for summer. Let’s just say it’s different. Good. Just different. They’ve turned into adults. Glad you’re getting Domer settled. Hope all goes well.

    • Nice to “meet” you, Lisa, and welcome aboard! Triplets?? Wow, that tells me you must be VERY organized — twas hard enough with one, when that one wanted to be involved in everything!!

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