Knives Belong in the Kitchen

A kitchen without a knife is not a kitchen. — Iron Chef Masaharu Morimoto

I just returned from a wonderful week’s visit with my son in The Land of the North.

Domer is fine, thanks for asking, and I expect he’ll be doing even better now that I’ve Pine-Solved a little problem for him.

You see, when Domer accepted this job and moved into an apartment, I bought a bunch of stuff to help him settle in.

And one of those things was a traditional chopping block filled with knives.

Turns out, an entire year later, the knives don’t cut.

And never have!

Domer, who didn’t do a lot of cooking while living at home or in college, thought that was the way they were supposed(!) to work.

Or so he told me.

But when I couldn’t even chop up carrots for Dallas’s dinner, I balked.

Sitting down at my computer, I wrote a nice letter to the knife manufacturer. I explained the situation, praised their high reputation for quality and a lifetime guarantee, and asked that they send him a replacement set.

One that works.

Domer got a big kick out of this.

‘It’ll never happen,’ he told me as we went to the post office to mail the knives back.

‘And while you’re at it, that guy will never box this up for you, either.’

Oh ye of little faith, I countered. Just watch and learn.

Something tells me the postal clerk didn’t hear too many Southern accents in his day-to-day work, for he was most obliging. And with the knives safely boxed and mailed, Domer looked at me with a glint in his eye and noted, ‘You turned that on pretty thick, you know.’

Ya think??

Whatever it takes. As long as we get a set of knives that will CUT, not saw!

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24 thoughts on “Knives Belong in the Kitchen

  1. “Oh ye of little faith, I countered. Just watch and learn.”

    You GO, Debbie! And BRAVA to you for getting it done!

    I’ll be anxious to read an update on getting a replacement set!

    *two thumbs up*

    Have a super holiday weekend, my friend!

    X to you and Dallas!

    • I will definitely post an update when Domer or I hear back from the knife company, Ron. I can’t believe they’d completely ignore us, considering as how they offer a lifetime warranty on their products. We will see. Shoot, even if all they do is sharpen the knives and send them back, that would be a plus, don’t you agree??

      Thanks for the encouragement, my friend — have a splendid holiday weekend!

  2. Sharp knives are such a pleasure even for those of us that don’t cook all that often. Southern charm and the will of a Mom! Good for you for helping Domer see all things are possible with a little Mama power. I’m glad you has such a good time.

    • Katybeth, you KNOW how we mamas are — gotta protect our kids! I’m still baffled that Domer thought knives, good knives, were supposed to kind of saw things apart, rather than make a nice, clean slice. If he’d thought about it (and mentioned it) earlier, we could have sent the set back months ago, but a lifetime warranty should be good forever, don’t you think?

    • HaHa, Barb, I just couldn’t resist. I mean, that old guy at the post office looked like he needed a day-brightener, and all I did was accept the challenge. What is it they say, You can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar? Yep, that’s about right. And no kid is ever too grownup to learn a new trick, right?!

  3. You did give him a lesson on knife sharpening, right? He does have a knife sharpener, right? If not, put that baby on the Christmas gift list! My goodness — it’s only still August, and I’ve had my first Christmas gift idea.

    Fun story!

    • Aagh, you’re exactly right, Linda — a knife sharpener is going on his Christmas list. We had one when I was growing up, but that chore fell to my late dad. Since he’s been gone, I’m afraid not a single knife in the house has received a good sharpening. Golly, that’s an embarrassing thing to admit!! You’re on a roll with the Christmas gift ideas — better find something to write them down on because it’s a long way to December!!

    • Thanks, Suzi — it’s nice to think I’ve learned something over the years! Would it have been easier to simply buy a knife sharpener? Probably, but then the two of us wouldn’t have had all that fun — and Domer wouldn’t have learned a valuable lesson. Specifically, when something doesn’t work, take it back and get a replacement!

    • Well, the knives sort of cut, but it was more like you had to saw stuff to get it apart. I mean, when I was cutting up a carrot for the dog’s dinner, there were uneven pieces of carrot flying all over the kitchen! And rubbing my thumb across the blade wasn’t injurious at all; in fact, his butter knives cut as well as these fancy ones!

      Yes, Pat, I’ll remember to update y’all on how this story unfolds.

    • I was disappointed, too. Unlike Domer, who didn’t want to make waves, I did — I mean, if one pays good money for something, one expects it to give good service. I’m glad they have a lifetime guarantee — now let’s see if they mean it!!

    • Poor Domer had to cut up a watermelon over the weekend, using only a paring knife! He said he didn’t think he’d ever get that accomplished, Haha! Yes, Dallas did eat his carrots. They were a mangled mess, but he didn’t seem to mind. Don’t worry, I’ll update as soon as we hear something from them; thanks for sympathizing!

  4. Maybe it’s a female thing – that intuition that says we don’t have to settle for keeping a product that doesn’t work as well as we expected. A few years ago, my daughter had a cell phone cover that didn’t hold up to its promise. She contacted the company and soon had a free replacement. She did this all without my knowledge. I was pretty impressed that she took such initiative. Hey, you never know if you don’t ask, right Debbie?

    • Terri, you are SO right — and kudos to you for raising such a clever daughter! I imagine more companies would send out replacements if people complained nicely. I mean, they can’t know when they’re failing if they don’t get feedback now and then. Of course, some people go too far by smearing a company’s name all over social media — without giving the company a fair chance to make things right — and while that might work, it’s not my preferred course. I’ll pass on the rest of the story when it happens!

  5. Pingback: Debbie 1, Domer 0 | Musings by an ND Domer's Mom

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