Mother love is the fuel that enables a normal human being to do the impossible. ~Marion C. Garretty, quoted in A Little Spoonful of Chicken Soup for the Mother’s Soul
Sometimes you don’t get to choose the challenges Life tosses your way. Sometimes you’ve just gotta wing it, hoping and praying you can make the best of what some would consider a “bad” situation.
When I got married, I never expected to one day get divorced.
First off, Catholics marry for life; second, I knew the guy I married was a good man, the kind who wouldn’t stray or beat me.
What I didn’t count on was a succession of difficulties the two of us couldn’t handle. Things that would rock the most solid of marriages.
Domer was a wee lad when we separated and, because we’d chosen to live across the country from each other, Domerdad really wasn’t around.
I became “Mom” and “Dad” to Domer.
The “Mom” things — loving him, playing sports with him, reading to him, kissing his boo-boos, feeding him, cleaning after him, teaching him to drive, disciplining him — came naturally.
The “Dad” things — showing him how to be a man — were a little harder.
And over the years, I’ve occasionally wondered whether I did Domer a disservice by bailing on Domerdad instead of hunkering down for Domer’s sake.
Not any more though.
Recently, I mentioned my worry to Domer on the phone, and do you know what this darling young man said?
“Mama, you’ve done a good job being both Mom and Dad to me!”
Brought tears of joy to my eyes.
Even better? He showed up — unexpectedly — for Mom’s Day weekend!
Happy Mother’s Day, everyone — if your mom’s alive, give her a hug of appreciation; if not, say a prayer of thanksgiving for the life she gave you!
My neighbor’s lilac bush has an intoxicating scent!
Musings by an ND Domer's Mom 
Aww!!! So glad your boy is spending the weekend with you. Happy Mother’s Day! I am spending the weekend in New Mexico with my Mom compliments of my kid. Let’s keep them.
Katybeth, we’re sooooo blessed to have Cole and Domer! Enjoy your Mother’s Day (and I know your mom will enjoy having you under her roof to spoil again!) Safe travels, my friend!
What an affirming and comforting thing for him to say! Gave me goosebumps. And it follows that a young man like that would back up his words with actions – showing up for Mother’s Day, knowing in a wise sort of way that his presence would be the best gift of all. Happy Mother’s Day! This mother/son interaction is more intoxicating even than that lovely lilac bush, Debbie.
Thanks so much for confirming that, Barb. Yes, Domer isn’t much for cards — in fact, Hallmark would flat go out of business with customers like him! — but he’s great about the other things that matter. And seeing his grinning face at the door was a HUGE surprise! Here’s hoping your Mother’s Day was simply splendid!
Happy Mother’s Day, Debbie. You should be proud of the job you did.
Thank you, John. I had a great piece of “clay” to mold with!!
🙂
““Mama, you’ve done a good job being both Mom and Dad to me!”
Amen, Debbie! I am a firm believer that a child does not need the presence of both a mother and father for them to grow up a balanced child. I think if either the mother or father is the sole guardian of a child, either the mother or father can raise a child well. All that matters is LOVE.
And the simple fact that Domer said that to you is proof you did a GREAT job being a single parent!
HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY TO YOU, MY FRIEND!
(((((((((((( YOU ))))))))))
Have a great weekend with your son!
Ron, any more, we see all kinds of parenting styles, and we accept that the “traditional family unit” we grew up with — while it may or may not be “best” — isn’t the only option. Parents by themselves can do a decent job raising kids — it just might be a bit harder and require more give-and-take. As you’ve pointed out so beautifully, all it takes is LOVE!
I’m just having so much fun with Domer home — and you ought to see Dallas, he’s beside himself with excitement!!
Hope you’re not having to work this Mother’s Day and are able to get out and enjoy the season! xo
LIke you, I never expected to be divorced when I married. I didn’t have to face many of the complexities of divorce because there weren’t any children, but I certainly admire those — like you — who can do a good job of making a bad situation not only bearable, but productive.
Happy Mother’s Day to you and that splendid son of yours.While I do believe that two parents are best, single parent families can work. You’re the proof of that!
You, too, Linda? I’m sorry. Truly I am. Divorce changes a person, but some of us come out on the other side stronger and more authentic than before. I’ve always thought two happy, healthy parents who love and respect each other is the best plan for turning out balanced, productive children — but from what I’ve gleaned lately, that’s not necessarily the case. Guess there are too many variables to make such a generalization any more.
Thanks for your lovely compliment — I hope you enjoy the day, doing whatever makes you feel alive!
Happy Mother’s Day to you! Lovely post.
Thank you, DD. Happy Mother’s Day right back to ya! I hope you’re having sunshine and warmth…we’ve got clouds and cool temps. A nice change, I guess, but I’m looking forward to seeing the sun again!
Happy Mother’s Day! Glad your boy’s come to visit his Mum (Mom)!
Happy Mother’s Day to you, FF! Yes, it’s always a delight having Domer at home, and I could tell from his voice on the phone recently that he needed a get-away break, too. Doesn’t matter how you spell it — Mum or Mom always means love, right?!
Plus there was Dallas. I’m sure he taught Domer loads of things about hunting.
So true, Professor. Pets (especially dogs!) teach kids things nobody else can. Thanks for pointing that out!
This bring tears to my eyes, Debbie. I needed to read of such happy endings today. Happy Mother’s Day, my friend!!♡♡
Glad to oblige, Audrey! When you’re in the weeds, ’tis hard to see anything but gloom; knowing there’s light at the end of every tunnel somehow makes traipsing through those weeds bearable. Happy Mother’s Day to you, too!
Aw, that Domer! What a great kid! And now you don’t have to doubt for a second that you deserve much of the credit for the person he is today.
Thanks, Tee. He is a great kid, and I’m blessed he’s my kid!!