Treat everyone with politeness, even those who are rude to you — not because they are nice, but because you are. ~Author Unknown
We’ve all come across them — boorish human beings who can’t interact with others without stepping on toes or leaving behind uncomfortable feelings.
Too often, these folks never even realize they’re making life hard.
For themselves and others.
A 2017 report by the Associated Press found that three-fourths of Americans believe manners and behavior have tanked in our country. The frustrations of our modern lifestyle, isolation caused by technology, growing divides in economics and politics, cultural differences, and more are blamed.
Go out for dinner and look around — entire families are on their cell phones. Or hit the road and cringe when a monster truck cuts you off in traffic. then flips you the universal hand signal blaming you for being in the way. Or access Twitter or Facebook, only to have a stranger unfriend you because you don’t share their religious or political beliefs.
But I think the height of rudeness is when somebody asks a personal question … to one’s face … in front of curiosity seekers.
Recently, my car was in for service and I was in line to speak with a technician, when a total stranger stopped and remarked aloud that I looked familiar and wondered if I’d been in his high school class.
This was an old goat, mind you, and the waiting area was full, so I told him I doubted it.
And hoped he’d quietly move along.
But no.
He drilled me as to where I’d gone to high school.
Why would he care, since I didn’t know him (and obviously didn’t want to)?
Noticing all eyes on me, I lied.
I’ve since been told I should have retorted, “I fail to see where that’s any of your business,” or something to that effect.
Not very nice, but neither was the question.
He didn’t need politeness. He needed educating.
We don’t ask others if their teeth are dentures. Or why they got their tongues pierced. Or how much money they make.
We don’t ask how much another person weighs. Or whether they have breast implants. Or if they were around for Richard Nixon’s resignation.
Those who ask personal (read: nosy) questions deserve the same level of rudeness in the response they receive.
Thoughts?
Musings by an ND Domer's Mom 
“We’ve all come across them — boorish human beings who can’t interact with others without stepping on toes or leaving behind uncomfortable feelings.Too often, these folks never even realize they’re making life hard.”
OMG, yes! And I’m right there with you on this post topic, Debbie! There are no longer such things as “manners and behavior.” Every once in a while I will encountered a mannered/considerate person, but it’s very rare.
Funny you should be posting on this topic today because I just experienced this this morning while walking to Trader Joe’s. Listen, I know that this kind of behavior is everywhere the world. However, the city of Philadelphia is probably one of the rudest, nastiest, unmannered, unconscious, uncouth cities I’ve ever lived. Philly is a city that I refer to as–“Philadelphia, the Enabling City”– because not only does it enable bad behavior, it encourages it. Philadelphia is a petri dish of ill behavior.
The thing I find the most distressing about today’s world is that no one seems to be aware of anyone else around them because all they can focus on is THEMSELVES. Me! Me! Me! Me! Me!
Also, no one seems to have any sense of respecting someone else’s personal space.
Sorry for going on like this in my comment, but as you can tell, I feel very passionate I about this topic. Thank you for allowing me to vent LOL!
GREAT post, my friend! Enjoy the rest of your week! X
I’m sorry you, too, have encountered these rude people, Ron. I thought it was just where I am.
I don’t want to sound like an old fuddy-duddy, but when did things change?? I know my parents’ generation was exceptionally considerate, as were the generations before them. Perhaps over time, we’ve all become used to treating others unkindly, but doesn’t it stand to reason that, if rudeness begets rudeness, then kindness might beget kindness?
Stay away from the misery-makers, my friend, and try to enjoy what’s left of this week. Watch out for those storms, too! xo
Ha haha. You could have said, “I think you have me confused with my mother.”
Good retort, John — I’ll have to keep that one handy and fire it when needed!
The old goat. Sheesh.
So, do you remember Nixon’s inauguration? And what toothpaste do you use? Is that your natural hair colour?;) Haha – agreed, Debbie! I find I’m preaching good manners more and more these days. Rude seems to be some people’s first response. I’m happy to have reached an age where I can cheerfully say “Don’t be rude, young man/woman” and get away with it. It’s not just the intrusive personal question, it’s the shouty response to any form of disagreement, and the name-calling! It used to be possible to debate, but now it seems we all just argue. I reckon we either need better education or more chocolate in our lives… perhaps both! 😉
Definitely … BOTH!! So this rudeness extends beyond the U.S., huh? Gosh, I’m sorry to hear that. I figured there’d be somewhere in the world I could go if things took an even nastier turn. And you’re so right about the debating. I used to love a good “word-battle,” but I find anymore I can’t stand the meanness that accompanies it — and don’t get me started on politics or religion, ha!
Sometimes it’s hard in those situations, because we’re startled by the question. I’ve been asked intrusive questions in public, and I have a tendency to just blurt out the answer because I’m surprised. I’m getting better at managing to hold my tongue, and find a way around it.
This could be off base, but I wonder now and then if the way people behave on social media isn’t leaking out into real life. People who say, or ask, anything online may be getting more comfortable doing the same thing in real life.
On the other hand… Maybe his question was a pickup line. I hear the produce section at Whole Foods is a great place to connect, so why not a car repair shop?!
HaHa, that’s very similar to what Domer thought, Linda!! Pickup, indeed. Gee, I don’t know, but if I were into picking up strangers, I think I’d at least look for a clue or two that they were amenable to that sort of thing. And refusing to make eye contact and replying with curt answers to an initial question doesn’t signify interest.
You could be right about the social media mindset spilling over into personal interactions. However, I’d think an old goat should have been taught better manners, wouldn’t you?!
As the old saying has it, some people never learn!
I say thank you and please to a fault, and now my kids do as well. I think it’s important. Not hearing a you’re welcome is a disappointment but a little acknowledgement is better than nothing. No response to kindness is so gross, in my opinion.
You were raised like I was, Audrey. Manners matter, plain and simple. If more parents modeled kindness and decency to their wee ones, the kids would pick them up and model them for their kids. And so forth. I suppose it has to start somewhere. Thank you for stopping by.
I would have started talking about Jesus…..that always stops people from talking to me….LOL! In fact that Just happened to me a few weeks ago. Some man said he knew me and I said to him…the only place that he would know me was from a church I attended. The look on his face was priceless…he was like….I don’t do church! It turns out he knew my dad.
Great response, Tanya! I’ll have to remember that. Anybody who tries to pick up a lady in a car repair shop certainly needs churching!!