A mother is the truest friend we have; when trials heavy and sudden fall upon us; when adversity takes the place of prosperity; when friends, who rejoiced with us in our sunshine, desert us when troubles thicken around us, still will she cling to us, and endeavor by her kind precepts and counsels to dissipate the clouds of darkness, and cause peace to return to our hearts. ~Author unknown, c.1875
In my first job after college, one of my tasks was to help write obituaries for a daily newspaper.
There was a list of area funeral homes, and I called my portion of them every day. The person on the other end of the line would read the obituary information aloud while we’d type it in for publication.
One of the traditionally black funeral homes regularly pronounced their deceased as having been “Promoted to Glory.”
I’d never heard that expression before, but I really liked it.
It’s positive, when we usually think of Death’s calling as something to be feared, something to be dreaded.
Who doesn’t want to be “promoted”? Students advancing to the next grade level? Employees seeking bigger challenges and more pay? And perhaps, anyone hoping for a happy afterlife?
I’ve often been “accused” of being Little Debbie Sunshine, but honestly, isn’t it better (and healthier) to try to find the positives in every situation, rather than miring yourself in gloominess?
So, on this second anniversary of my mom’s passing, I’m trying to rise above my grieving and imagine how happy she must be … surrounded by all that Glory!
Miss you, Mama.
Musings by an ND Domer's Mom 
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Thank you, Eliza!
“….but honestly, isn’t it better (and healthier) to try to find the positives in every situation, rather than miring yourself in gloominess?”
Yes, it most certainly is, Debbie! And I too have often been accused of being Little Ronnie Sunshine, so I know how you feel. And that’s why whenever I’m going through something challenging in my life, I don’t discuss it with others because I try and find the good in the challenge (the lesson I’m to learn) instead of focusing on the negative. For me, when I focus on the good, I seem to move through it in a much less stressful way. Sometimes we cannot change something unpleasant, however, what we CAN do is focus on our blessings. Which for me, gives me the clarity as to WHY I’m experiencing it.
I remember the first and second anniversary of my own mom’s passing, back in 2012. And even now, 14 years later, I still feel grief. Yet, I’m also remembering our close relationship and how incredibly grateful I am that she was my mother. And that somehow nurtures and soothes me, as I grieve.
Beautiful post, my friend! And thank you for sharing it! Sending much love your way!
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Thanks so much, Ron! I’m thrilled to find another “little sunshine!” You’re so right: focusing on our blessings helps us process why challenges occur, as well as helping us deal with the difficulty in a positive way.
I know you can empathize with my feelings today, having lost your own dear mom. I don’t guess we ever fully complete the grieving process when we lose someone so precious.
Miss your blog, my friend, but I do understand. Hugs to you from (finally!) sunny Central Illinois! XX
A lovely post, Debbie. Promoted to glory is a great description. Thanks for sharing.
I’m glad you liked it, John. Funny, but my editors always changed “Promoted to Glory” to simply “died.” They rationalized that “died” was simpler, I guess. I’m not sure the change was for the better!
Gee, that was pretty harsh.
Agreed. We have so many euphemisms for death. Perhaps they wanted to keep it simple?
Maybe so.
You’re right – the grief never goes away, but it does change shape. It’s seventeen years since my mum died and I still think of her every day, but usually with a smile now. I hope you find yourself smiling sometimes when you think of your mama, too!
I do, FF!! We had some really wonderful times together, times I wouldn’t trade for anything. I just wish she could pop back in so I could ask her things we didn’t talk about!
May will mark 50 years since my mother died and next week will mark 10 years since my sister’s death. I’ve reached a point where thinking of them brings fond thoughts without the grief. It takes time.
I love the idea of your mother being “promoted to glory” and hope this thought gives you comfort. ((hugs)) 🙏🏼
How did I miss your comment, Kelly? I’m sorry, it was completely unintentional. Fifty years?? Wow, you were so young when your mom passed. I’m glad thinking of her and your sister bring good memories without all the tears. It does take time.
Writing obituaries for a newspaper sounds like a fascinating job. Remembering in a few words so many different kinds of people who all led unique lives. It is a comforting and positive thought to picture your mom surrounded by glory! 🙏 💙
It was interesting work, Barbara. Of course, being new to that area, I didn’t know most of the people whose obits I was writing, but I enjoyed hearing the news first! And yes, I think Mama would kind of like being promoted to glory! It’s just such an optimistic sort of phrase.
It’s been fifteen years since my mother died (how can that be!), and the grief is gone now. I do think of her with fondness from time to time, and occasionally I’ll see something and think, “I ought to pick that up for Mom,” but she’s joined my dad as someone loved: first in life, and now in memory. I don’t think of it as forgetting, but as healing. When I pull a muscle at work, or hit my hand with a hammer, it hurts for a while and then, one day, I realize it doesn’t hurt any more. The mind and heart seem to heal in the same way.
“Healing” is a great way of looking at it, Linda! The times when I have a “meltdown” in the Hallmark card aisle have certainly waned, thank goodness. Still, I find myself wishing I could talk to her (and she could answer!) or ask her questions. And you’re right: by the time she passed, there were far more people she knew on “the other side” than were here, so perhaps she’s surrounded by friends, family, and love.
My heart has never recovered from my mom’s death. Not to say that to discourage you, it’s just how it is with me. Partly, probably, because dad was killed so soon after she died. And that grief seemed to eclipse the previous grief. But if someone were to ask me what the worst thing in my life has been, it would be the death of my mom. My only consolation is that she’s with dad. They were never far from each other except for those 5 months between their deaths.
I’m sorry for the loss of your mom. I know you lived together, right? So the loss is probably even more keenly felt because you had daily, hourly, connection. Sometimes I can imagine that mom’s just on a trip, like so many other trips they took together. It would be harder if I was used to seeing her or talking to her every day.
Sending hugs. d
Dawn, losing both your parents so close together like that must have been such a blow. Daddy had been gone 16 years by the time Mama left, so we both had time to grieve that together. But yes, my folks were like yours in that they never were apart, and knowing they’re together again is such a consolation.
Yes, Mama and I lived together. I wonder if losing her would’ve been easier, had I lived across the country? I’ll never know. But we went through the Pandemic together, I was her driver and carer, and the house is definitely empty without her. Monkey was so little when she left that I don’t think he remembers her much (though maybe he remembers more than I think!)
I agree, “promoted to Glory” is a great way to think of death. It doesn’t belittle the grief of those who have lost someone they love deeply, but it does make it clear that death is not necessarily a bad thing for the person who died. and that, I think, is comforting.
It’s such a picturesque description, isn’t it? I mean, we can talk about somebody “passing away” or “dying,” but being promoted to glory”? That’s just so uplifting … both for the one who left and the ones left behind!
It seems to me that it’s appropriate to miss and mourn loved ones who have passed. As long as one doesn’t sink into too deep a depression. Then it might be time to seek professional help. But I do love “promoted to glory.” Are you familiar with this song? Reminded me of “promoted to glory.” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lMBBOWPcZkY
Good point, Laurie, and thanks for making it. I do agree that we can miss our departed loved ones, but eventually those memories become sweet. There’s really no timetable for grieving, nor is there an instruction book for how to do it!
I once went to a funeral where the man was unloved and unmourned. Terrible!
I can’t hit “Like” on that, Laurie. How sad. I guess that’s why our pastor encourages us to attend funerals whether we know the deceased or not. It must be awful not to be remembered and “sent on” with dignity.
Worst one I have ever been to. To be mourned is to be loved.
Absolutely, and we all crave being loved!