The Never-Ending Pit

I’m really furious with my neighbor!

This guy is apparently obsessed with fire. He comes home from work and immediately starts his fire pit. Now I’m not talking about the traditional fire pit that’s kind of a metal bowl with a screen.

Nor am I referring to an outdoor fireplace or chimenea.

I’m talking about plain old bricks set in a circle on top of the driveway and belching smoke like an old-fashioned locomotive.

This goes on winter, spring, summer, and fall, weekdays from about 5 o’clock until 10 or 11 and weekends practically 24/7.

When the wind is coming from his direction, we can’t open our windows to take advantage of cooling breezes, we can’t hang clothes out to dry, and even the dog rushes back inside sneezing after doing his business.

Our community enacted a ban on leaf burning several years ago. The city fathers agreed with petitioners that burning smoke is hazardous to people’s health (especially those with asthma and other breathing problems).

I was glad to see that since I’m particularly allergic to leaf mold.

But fire pits weren’t included in the ban.

“There aren’t that many,” someone at city hall told me when I called to complain. “Besides, they’re only used for short periods of time.”

Really? Maybe they ought to move in with me and see!

On the news tonight, the announcers advised us to curtail outdoor burning until weather conditions improve. We’ve had a really dry fall and the winds have been kicking up.

But has my neighbor quit burning?

Of course not. He’s outside as I write, trying to coax the flames higher and doing a bang-up job of polluting the whole neighborhood.

Some people really make it hard to “Love thy neighbor,” don’t they?

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7 thoughts on “The Never-Ending Pit

  1. Oh, what a hideous situation! I am so sorry. What a total bummer. My husband and I got a firepit like your first picture, and bought some wood at Lowe’s for it, and guess what? It was so smoky and horrible, it smelled like – wait, you know those pictures of the oil wells that Saddam Hussein set on fire as his army retreated? Okay, that. Only on a small patio.
    Bill drilled a hole in the clay pit and now it’s a flower pot!

    • A flower pot, huh? What a clever and wonderful idea! Wish I had the courage to sneak next door and turn my neighbor’s smoke machine into a flower pot. I think everybody in the neighborhood would thank me!

  2. Hi Deb,

    I’m just catching up on reading my favorite blogs. UGH! What a horrible predicament- such an invasion into your space. I hope you have figured out a way of turning it into a flower pot! Good luck!

  3. Debbie
    We could send up a few buddies on the Biloxi Point to have a nice chat with him remember when Don Corleone tells Johnny:

    “I’ll make him an offer he can’t refuse.”

    The studio head later wakes to find the severed head of his expensive racehorse in his bed. Well we could put the Fire Pit in there!!!

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