My Favorite Domer called me yesterday to wish me a happy Mother’s Day.
“No card. No flowers,” he said. “I just wanted to call and tell you ‘I love you.'”
I had to laugh — it’s easier than crying!
Despite my persistent efforts, Domer has never been a card and flowers kind of guy. Perhaps it’s because he grew up away from his dad, who always did the card and flowers thing when it came to special occasions (thank you, Ex!). Perhaps it’s because Domer never saw his Pa-Pa buy cards and flowers for his grandma.
But I’m convinced it’s because of a new teacher he had when he was an impressionable high school freshman.
One day toward Valentine’s Day, some of the girls in Domer’s class were asking Mr. Young-Attractive-Hot-Shot what kind of flowers he’d purchased for his sweetie. Whereupon, Mr. Young-Attractive-Hot-Shot said he wasn’t giving them, then expounded on his philosophy that flowers were a waste of money. That as soon as you cut flowers, they start to die. That he wouldn’t want anybody special to have to receive dead flowers.
I sincerely hope Mr. Young-Attractive-Hot-Shot had an understanding lady friend. Or has since changed his evil ways!
When Domer was little, as soon as he could print his name, I bought cards and had him give them to special people on special occasions. I never failed to give him cards on special occasions, either.
Yes, Hallmark loves me — I must be their biggest fan!
But somehow, Domer never got into cards. He told me yesterday that he can’t imagine being an old person and remembering the verse on a card somebody gave him years ago.
I countered that I might not remember the verse when I’m old, but I’ve saved ALL of my cards in boxes so I can wade through them at leisure. “That way, I can remember that once I was a young mom and I was loved,” I added.
“You’re loved now,” was all he said.
And it’s all that needed to be said.
How did you celebrate Mother’s Day 2012?
Mr. Hot Shot’s prospects are not good if he doesn’t wake up to the flower thing. I’ve got faith in the Domer
Bless your heart, I do, too! I told him he’ll change his tune when he meets a “special someone” who will insist on cards and flowers (maybe I’ll put a little hint in her ear!)
The teacher was a loser not because he did not buy flowers but because of his attitude around not buying them. Domer on the other hand gets the most important part of a gift the “I love you.” Now he just needs to accessories it a bit. I am very clear with Cole that I love presents, and I love flowers. His cards are sometime post a notes…but I save them. Joe was a great example–maybe a bit extreem since he would talk for days about how much I was going to love whatever he was going to give me…and of-course I did loudly and lustfully (kisses in front of the little child of-course :-D) Domer is practically perfect. Now just tell him next year if he doesn’t buy a card and perhaps one lovely rose to compliment his mama’s loveliness your going to hit him really hard.. 😀 .works for Cole.
His grandma tried. She sneaked a call to him and volunteered to get me something special, attaching his name to it. No, he said, I’ll give her a call. Well, I guess that’s something. Now I understand what my dad meant when we asked him what we could buy him for special occasions — write me a note, Daddy always said. Yes, I’ve saved all Domer’s e-mails, too! Hitting? That wouldn’t work — he’s much bigger and stronger than I am!
Ah but your the mom and that means you are much tougher! It’s sweet that your a saver–me not so much so and someday I might be sorry!
Right now, Domer doesn’t much understand my saving — but he will. We all tend to forget things (not a sign of aging, but of having SO MUCH on our brains!). Photos, memory books, souvenirs, etc. help to recapture wonderful times. I’m a big fan of “pack-rat-ism”!!
“You’re loved now.” So sweet.
I was in my 30s when my grandmother passed away and we went through all the boxes of cards and photos in her closet. It was fun to see my handwriting from over the years on cards that I didn’t remember sending at all. Maybe showing Domer some old ones will be a fun trip down sentimental lane.
Good idea! He probably doesn’t realize I saved all his high school graduation cards. That might be a good start for our trek down Memory Lane — that, and a nice rainy day!
Debbie, to hear the words, “You’re loved now,” is surely all a mother needs to hear! What a guy, your Domer! That said, he needs to step up and realize that all women love flowers and cards at one point or another. His girlfriend or wife may not be as understanding as dear mom! But I’m with Omawarisan–I have faith in Domer! The Son doesn’t get me anything for Mother’s Day because when he and the Daughter were small, I taught them that every day was Mother’s Day. Hence, presents on this day were unnecessary. Nevertheless, there are times when I wish he would pen a poem, draw my portrait, or dedicate me a song. Those things don’t cost anything and they show a mother she’s loved, right? My Mother’s Day was like any other day, I’m afraid, with the added dreadful element of having to visit the in-laws! What a nightmare, sister! Don’t get me started! hee hee!
Aw, Bella, I’m sure your son and daughter love you, too, but you’re so right — just a tiny heartfelt something would have been so very welcome! The in-laws, huh? My ex’s in-laws are both deceased, and I must say I miss them. They were lovely people, and his mom used to write me the longest, newsiest letters. Perhaps, for our future DILs’ sake, we ought to work on our sons?!
Happy Mothers’ Day one day late, Debbie!
Hope yours was wonderful, Lynne. I bet you got to see the grandbaby, huh?!
Oh, Debbie, isn’t it amazing what those few little words can do? Domer delivered even if it was without hearts and flowers. Happy Mother’s Day!
Thanks, Kathy. Now, if I can just make him aware how much women appreciate a tangible token of love! Hope your Mother’s Day was wonderful!
I’m glad you at least got a call for Mother’s Day!
My husband used to buy me flowers on occasion, but I asked him not to buy them anymore because I get depressed when they’re dead and I have to throw them away. I know it’s silly, but it makes me feel guilty. Now chocolates? Those are always welcome 🙂
Domer will find his way. I know he will 🙂
Thanks for your vote of confidence in Domer. I sincerely hope you’re right! I’ve tried to take him to Hallmark before he goes back to college every year and encourage him to buy ALL the cards he will need for that year, but I’ve failed in that, too. Sigh.
The important thing is he called. I have two sons, one who puts little emphasis through cards, flowers, gifts, on occasions though I do get those things from him sometimes while the other lavishes his gf with those things and is a bit more openly affectionate with all including me.
Interesting how different siblings can be — my sister and I are real opposites, too! I agree, it’s a treat any time he calls!
You’ve got a great son, cards and flowers or no cards and flowers. He’s right. Bottom line is he loves you! I spent Mother’s Day on vacation, visiting friends–without my kids. It was quite lovely. (Though I did miss not having my kids around.)
What’s a vacation — I haven’t had one in ages, and I’m so due!! I’m glad you had a lovely Mother’s Day, even without the kids. Maybe they’ll make it home next year — or surely sometime during the summer!
Somehow, my kids didn’t really inherit the card and gift giving gene either. Hubby rarely recognized special occasions with cards or gifts until a few years ago, but I always did! So I’m not sure why the kids didn’t. But on Mothers Day, I got a gift from my kids. It’s the first that I can remember that wasn’t the kind of gift that was made in school. My daughter knew I was looking for a new phone cover and she customized one for me through an online site. It really felt like one of the best gifts ever because it was from the heart. It even came with a card! This was all my daughter’s doing, but she made sure to sign her brothers’ names to the card too.
Aw, what a sweet girl you have! And what a wonderful idea — giving you something so special and memorable that you’ve been looking for! That’s really the best kind of present. You raised her right, mom!
I’m not a card girl either. I do call my Momma and glad he called you. Very sweet.
Thanks, Deb! When he was little, he used to do the card-thing (because I’d buy them and have him scrawl his name on them!), but now? Nope. It is what it is. Could always be lots worse, I guess. Thanks for your comments!
I think it’s just as important that he can say those words “I love you” as it is that he can meet your needs of receiving a card/flowers. So many man can’t say those words. Yo’ve raised a good son, whether or not he ever buys you a card.
Thank you, Dawn. Yes, he’s a great kid, and I’m totally proud of him! I appreciate your perspective!