Spammed Again

That does it!

When I opened my business e-mail recently, I found yet another “solicitation” from yet another stranger hoping to “connect” with me.

Romantically.

Now this would be creepy enough if the sender were a man because, as I said, it’s a business account.

But it’s from a woman.

Who thinks I’m a man.

On what planet is the name “Debbie” masculine??

Anyway, this poor misguided female proceeds to tell me ALL about herself. How loving and romantic she is. How optimistic and athletic. How her friends describe her as cheerful.

How badly she wants to find her soul mate, even to the point of searching online for him and hooking up with a stranger.

Who’s actually a woman.

Though she clearly says she’s looking for a man.

Now I realize this e-mail was probably generated by an automated program of some sort. And that there probably isn’t a real person — female or male — somewhere deep in the heart of Russia who’s looking for a long term relationship with little ole me.

Especially when that unnamed someone clearly wants to find a man.

Which I’m not. Never have been.

So dear young lonely woman, I hate to be the bearer of hurtful news, but I’m not in the market for a long-term romantic relationship with a stranger.

We all have to be true to ourselves, and that’s just not something I’m comfortable with.

I’m sure you will find your “sugar daddy” if you keep looking.

But next time, please be more careful.

“Debbie” isn’t the best name in the world, but at least in most cases, there’s no gender question about it.

“Debbie” is female.

Not male.

What’s the oddest thing to appear in your Spam Folder of late??

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20 thoughts on “Spammed Again

  1. Can you hear me howling all the way in Chicago? I can’t help but wonder who DOES express interest in these kinds of e-mails? I wrote about Tom Thumb on El Morno and now I am constantly get spam with the heading, ” Dancing Naked Midget’s.” on Odd. My personal account get all kinds of junk but the one that annoys me most is Network Solutions. They do host for me, so when I see there name in the heading I feel obligated to open the e-mail and usually it is for another service I do not want. This happens at least three times a week even tho I have opted out of their e-mails. Finally, last week, I called and held for 20 minutes to solve the problem. I would have called to cancel, if I had time to deal with a domain name switch.
    Well, at least you were nice, and helpful to lover “clueless.” Do you think she read Debbie as Donald?
    Sunny and 35 in Chicago!

    • I think my problem, Katybeth, is that I have so many e-mail accounts! My WordPress account does a good job filtering them; same with my personal e-mail account. The business account, hosted by GoDaddy, is the one where I get a ton of garbage, perhaps because I haven’t set its filters tight enough — I don’t want to drive business away, ha! It was sunny and in the mid-40s here today, so I took Dallas for a nice walk — brisk, but he loved it!

  2. Shhhh…. I’m knocking wood, but spam isn’t a problem for me. I get perhaps one or two spam emails a week, and wordpress does a terrific job of filtering out the spam on my blog.

    But just for you, I went in and looked at my current spam pile. I found one trying to sell me 24 million bowls of crybaby soup. Who knows what that’s about? Poof! They’re all gone!

    • Never heard of crybaby soup — sounds interesting, though! Yes, I agree that WordPress does a phenomenal job of filtering. Perhaps I should check my business account’s spam folder and set it a bit tighter, but I don’t want to put it so tight that casual real people interested in my business can’t get through to me. Ah, the dilemma!

  3. Debbie, your response to her was FLAWLESS!

    “So dear young lonely woman, I hate to be the bearer of hurtful news, but I’m not in the market for a long-term romantic relationship with a stranger.

    We all have to be true to ourselves, and that’s just not something I’m comfortable with.

    I’m sure you will find your “sugar daddy” if you keep looking.”

    Bwhahahahahahahaha!

    And yes, I get these same emails all the time from woman from Russia, asking the same thing. In fact, about two months ago I got one and responded to her in a blog post by telling her that I’m gay. And then after I posted it, I ending up getting MORE and MORE from not only her, but from her girlfriends. And now they’re sending me videos!

    GREAT post, Debbie! Have a faaaaaabulous weekend!

    • Why are they always from Russia?? Don’t they have any interesting single people to meet, or do these “lonely” people really have nothing better to do than troll the Internet? You’ve got to wonder.
      They’re sending you videos now? What’s up with that? Maybe we should admire their persistence, ha!
      Have a wonderful weekend, Ron — and take it easy with the windows!!

    • You’ve nailed it, Suzi! I tend to get annoyed when they just keep coming, despite my trying to block them. They must be using all kinds of different e-mail addresses to get through. Just think how successful they’d be, if they were that persistent in real work!!

    • I’m blushing at your kind words, Kathy. Yes, WordPress is great, although you ought to see the ones I get written in Chinese!! No way I could translate them, so they get the Delete button, as do the obvious ploys to buy some product or other. I marvel at how much spare time some people have on their hands, though!

  4. I have a goos plug in that filters my spam too, but I had a run for a while about a month ago when I had several fishermen, eith fishing type emails register as users on my site! Now what do you think that was all about? I can’t imagine.

    • Spam seems to come and go in spurts, doesn’t it? I think the very worst are the ones who want ME to try Viagra!! Where do they get the idea I’m a male, for pity’s sake?!!

  5. Wow, Debbie, too funny! As for the oddest spam I’ve received? I couldn’t tell you. I don’t open them. The first sign of trouble for me is if I don’t recognize the sender. I then immediately trash, mark as junk. I’m afraid of what might happen should I open it. Hate spam.

    • I do the same with my personal accounts, Monica. It’s a bit trickier, though, with my business account. I often can’t tell from the return address whether it’s a possible new client, so I dare not investigate fully, then open. Most times, sadly, it’s just junk, but one never knows. Therein lies the rub, don’t you think? Thanks for your excellent advice!

  6. This was hilarious, Debbie. I never read spam, but now I think I will take a closer look…could be quite entertaining. Thanks for the laugh!

    • Oh, it’s entertaining, Pat. But it’s just not prudent to open up everything for fear of computer viruses and such. I walk a fine line with my business account — set it too high, and I run the risk of trashing a potential new client. Set it too low, and I’m inundated with spam. Sigh. There’s just no easy solution.

  7. I’ve received those solicitations in my work email as well. Of course, the name Terri could be either for a male or female, so I guess it’s less weird that I get them.

    Honestly, I don’t know what’s the strangest thing ever to come into my email. I usually recognize spam as spam before having to give it much attention. I’m sure there were some offers for little blue pills, though! Yet another misguided offer! :-)

    • I always thought of the male form of your name as “Terry” with a “y.” That’s probably splitting hairs, though! While I’m sorry you, too, have to wade through spam, it’s kind of comforting to know I’m not the only one, ha!

  8. Haha! This is too funny! I check my old blog email account periodically (mainly to clear out spam) and there are a ton of emails for singles looking for match ups. (Both men and women). Now, I’m not single and I have no idea why I get these. I don’t open them, of course, but some of the subject lines indicate that pictures are included. Eeeps…automatic delete! Oh, I also get quite a few emails about ‘enhancing my manhood.’ Also not in the market for that :)

    • I get those “enhancing my manhood” e-mails, too, Janna. Whatever are they thinking?!? The only thing I can surmise is that they’re randomly sending out mail to every address they can round up. Too bad the rest of us don’t have that kind of “free” time on our hands!

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