While Mama’s Away…

Dallas here.

Mama’s taking Grandma out of town for a doctor’s appointment, so I’m in charge of her blog.

Why not? I know you’ve missed hearing from me!

I don’t like Mama’s fascination with owls these days. It’s not healthy. Surely she realizes you’re all tired of reading about them.

Or maybe not.

But you should be because owls are disgusting!

The last time we were in Gulfport, Mama took me for a nighttime potty break. There we were, strolling along and minding our own business, when we walked under a tree and an owl hooted. Mama nearly jumped out of her skin!

Did that deter her? It did not.

Why, she’s even got a stuffed one on her desk. Have you ever noticed those things don’t blink? They just sit there with an accusing stare.

Blegh!!

You know, this has been a week of indignation. It started on Monday, when I thought Mama and I were going for a nice drive in the car.

Wrong.

First off, she made me hop into and out of the car. Two times.

C’mon, Mama, you know I’m royalty and am accustomed to being gently lifted for car rides. Kings do NOT hop, plain and simple.

Then, she took me to the groomer’s and made a point of telling her I looked like a refuge. Whatever that is.

Probably nothing complimentary, from the sound of her voice and the way the two of them looked at me.

You’d have thought I had fleas or something. Yuck!

The groomer is a nice enough lady, but who wants to be shaved “down there” and “back there,” too?

I don’t want anybody getting that familiar with me. Besides, hair growing back in causes a world of itching, don’t you know?

Anyway, I’m guessing Mama will be gone a long time today. She put “Mr. Pee-Pad” down and told me to use him if I needed to.

What’s up with that? Me, “go” in the house?

No-siree, no way. I’ll just cross my legs and hold it as usual (but if she’s gone too long, why, I’ll destroy one of her stupid owls, HeeHee!!)

You won’t tell, right?!

Back from the beauty shop!

Back from the beauty shop!

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19 thoughts on “While Mama’s Away…

  1. Dallas! You look simply stunning my dear fellow. I dare say your shaven and trimmed bits are super too, but probably best we don’t mention those further. I am sure your Mamma does not like the owls quite so much as she likes you as your are far more handsome. Maybe just chew one a little, show it who’s boss ;)

  2. Dallas, with a face like that, why, you should be able to get away with anything! You know, if I was you, I’d chew all the owls right up. Then spit them up somewhere secret. Just for revenge. Things that don’t blink need revenged upon.

    • Professor, has anyone ever told you you have a sneaky streak?!? The last thing I’d want to find after a road trip is hidden spit-up-owl!! Something tells me Dallas doesn’t hurl out of revenge (or maybe he does, and I don’t want to think that!). You know, he really doesn’t like them staring at him. Mostly, he just tries to avoid looking at them!

  3. Congratulations Dallas on getting in and out of the car. It will keep you young and nimble. And Royalty isn’t carried they have strong strides that show off their importance.
    Sorry, I am rather fond of Owls but I am sorry you were left so long. It happens to the best of us from time to time.
    The trip to the groomers might not have be your favorite place but I think you look smashing!

    • Aw, Katybeth, thanks for the compliment! He does clean up nice, you know! As for the hopping in and out of the car, we’re working on it. He doesn’t like it ONE BIT, but I’ll tell him what you said. Maybe that will encourage him — if all else fails, we bring cookies!

  4. Well, Dallas, we do think you look very beautiful… for a dog. Perhaps the next time you could ask the groomer if she could make you look a little more feline? Obviously you’ll never be as gorgeous as us, but that shouldn’t stop you at least trying. We shall go out and hunts owls tonight in your honour! (Pee-pads! That’s as bad as litter trays! Humans, eh? Tchah!)

    Love, Tommy & Tuppence x

    • Ah, Tommy & Tuppence, you two are simply splendid — even without having to visit a groomer!! Thank you for your lovely compliments. I’m sure we’d be the bestest of friends, if you’d promise not to make that hissing sound. Or scratch!!

  5. You look ever so handsome, Dallas. Might be a pain to go to the groomer’s but the result is breathtaking! And, about the owl thing, I like owls, too, but don’t worry. I won’t tell. Just don’t give Henry or Oliver any ideas, okay?

    • Thanks for the compliments, Monica. As for those owls, well, they’re safe … for now. I’m hoping my desk is tall enough for Dallas not to be able to reach them. I’ve never known him to climb like a goat, ha!

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