Swooping In

Hope begins in the dark, the stubborn hope that if you just show up and try to do the right thing, the dawn will come. ~Anne Lamott, American novelist

Dallas here.

It’s happened again. We got a BAT in the house!

Mama and I had just settled down for a nice snoozle when she heard a rattling sound.

At first, she thought it was me, scratching my nails on the floor. But then she saw something fly past her head and she couldn’t hop out of bed fast enough.

“BAT!!” She hollered and raced into the hallway, shutting me inside with the critter.

Gee, Mama, what were you thinking?

Next thing I knew, Mama was back with her butterfly net.

As she opened the door, I escaped, standing just close enough to watch the show.

There was Mama, net in hand, swinging and shouting at Battie, who was swooping and gliding like an airplane in an acrobatics show.

Mama opened a window, hoping Battie would realize he was inside and should have been out, but it didn’t work. She kept trying to snag him in her net, but she got herself so dizzy, she stumbled out of the room … right into Grandma!

It’s a good thing the two of them steadied each other, or they’d have both been on deck.

When Mama got her bearings back, she peeped in her room. No bat.


Eventually, after combing the house, she saw him swooping up the stairs. She stunned him with the rim of her net, dropped the net part over him, scooped him up while he was making that angry clicking noise, and carried him outside.

After the eviction, she turned on me.

“Why didn’t you help?” she asked. “Don’t you know bats don’t belong inside?”

Sorry, Mama, No. Birds fly outside, and you don’t chase them down with a net. What’s special about this funny webbed bird?

The next day, Mama called an exterminator.

Part Two

Dallas again.

The exterminator (AKA “Batman”) gave Mama a free estimate, then announced he’d tackle her bat problem for $1260.

What?? When Home Advisor says the Illinois average is $218??

Thanks, but No Thanks.

So, Mama called another guy, who offered to remove Battie and his kin for $2500.


Sorry, Sport, but you’re going in the WRONG direction.

Grandma’s got a call in to a contractor.

I’ll let you know how that goes.

18 thoughts on “Swooping In

  1. Hey Dallas! Always great to hear from you! Your Mamma was very brave tackling that bat. Bats seem to really like your house! Those exterminators are no help at all, the buggers. Poke them with a stick.

    • Hi, Miss Lucy. My Mama is very brave (Celtic, you know). As for the bats, we’re not sure where they’re getting in, but Mama’s determined that we’re going to get rid of them somehow. She’s tired of sleeping with a light on, heehee!!.

    • Thanks, Miss Beth Ann. I Dallas rather thought so, too, especially when I heard Mama gasp upon hearing the estimated cost. Gee, they must think she’s got a money tree in the back yard!

  2. NoNoNONo! Those prices are crazy! What are they going to do? Rebuild your house?

    Here’s a suggestion. Get in touch with your local agricultural extension office. They’ll have someone who knows the best way to deal with the issue — and their advice is free!

    • Good suggestion, Miss Linda — Thank you! I Dallas told Mama that was crazy; nobody would pay those kinds of fees. Perhaps they really didn’t want the job (or they intended to make up for the fact that nobody else was hiring them for bat removal, ha!)

  3. Holy cow, Dallas….$1260. and $2500.!??!?!?!?

    I agree….thanks, but no thanks. Are they CRAZY?!? THAT much money for an exterminator? No way. I’d just rather just keep using a butterfly net. It’s MUCH cheaper. 🙂

    Yes, keep us posted on how the contracter goes.

    ALWAYS so great to read your posts, Dallas! I love the way you write

    Tell Mama I said hello and have a great week!

    X to you both

    • Mr. Ron, I can assure you my mama was shocked. She expected $500 would be on the high side, but these guys must have thought she was a millionaire! Or the village idiot!!

      Yes, Mama will keep you updated on the outcome of this bat removal venture. Something tells me these two fellas don’t get a lot of business, or perhaps they deal with folks scared out of their skins over bats. My mama doesn’t particularly like them — especially in the house! — but she’s getting GOOD at snagging them and returning them to the great outdoors, ha!


  4. Hello Debbie

    I left two comments, both of which disappeared when I clicked on POST COMMENT. Check to see if they are in your spam box.

    Thanks, my friend.X

  5. Dallas, you tell your Mama that she is very BRAVE to battle a bat in your house! Kudos to you for being there as her sidekick (moral support & all that.) 🐶🤗🐶

  6. Honestly, Dallas, these humans always expect us to deal with the critters that invade the house – sometimes they seem to forget they’re OUR servants! But we think you and your Mama were very brave! What worries us is, how did the bat get in if the window was shut?? 😱

    Love, Tommy & Tuppence

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