Mama, Again

Dallas here.

Can y’all stand another Mama-story, one with no mention of a bat, I promise?

This happened on a Sunday back in the summer, and the reason I’m telling you that is because it’s important.

Sort of.

(What’s more important is that Mama has been very selfish in allowing me access to her blog. Don’t tell her, but I think she’s embarrassed over the story I’m about to tell — as well she should be!)

Anyway.

Mama decided she’d finally reached the Breaking Point (whatever that is) with my runny behind.

Yes, I confess I was fighting diarrhea for several days, and it’s NOT pretty on the skirts of my back-furs.

Mama figured the problem was that fancy Science Diet food she’d bought me. I don’t need fancy food, Mama. Hamburgers, chicken, turkey, and the occasional apple, carrot, or green bean is just fine with me.

Oh, and donuts. As many and as often as you’ll let me have ’em.

But Mama went to the store, trolled the aisles, and finally decided on another fancy kibble — Taste of the Wild.

Works for me, though sad to say, my “wild days” ended a while ago.

When Mama got back home, she decided to toss the old food down the garbage disposal and put the new food into her hermetically sealed container with its snazzy snap-on lid.

So far, so good.

Grandmama saw the pile of old food in the sink, but figured she’d let Mama deal with it.

Nobody thought there was a problem brewing.

Mama poked and shoved that food, and the dragon-in-the-sink chomped and sputtered. Eventually, the side sink got into the act and BOTH sinks filled with nasty brownish murky water (yep, way worse than my skirts ever looked!)

With plunger in hand, Mama called Grandmama back downstairs to help out, and I swear, the two of them looked like Laverne and Shirley as they bailed yucky water into a bucket, hauled the mess outdoors, and dumped it over the fence (surely pleasing the farmer who owns that field).

There was a lot of yelling and some well-placed cursing going on (mostly from Mama, who ever so often stopped to give me the stink-eye).

Mama, this was NOT my fault, and I resent your taking it out on me!

Grandmama, seeing the situation wasn’t getting one bit better and figuring the entire mess would turn to cement inside the drainpipes, called three plumbers, but have you ever tried to get a plumber on Father’s Day?

Nope, not happening.

The next day, one of the plumbers arrived and promptly chided Mama for putting dry kibble down the disposal in the first place.

‘That’s designed to swell in water so the dog feels full,’ he explained. ‘Your pipes aren’t big enough to handle a wad that size.’

Well, duh.

So I ask you, who’s the dummy here??

Note: In the interest of public service, I Dallas will tell you what the plumber told Mama. Don’t put rice, noodles, onions, carrots, banana peels, or dog kibble down the garbage disposal. And I imagine that goes for the Christmas goose carcass, too. (By the way, Happy Christmas to all!)

15 thoughts on “Mama, Again

  1. Thank you, Dallas, for this timely (albeit hilarious) reminder not to overload our garbage disposals @ the holidays. Pls tell your Mama that our frig went out a few days before Thanksgiving, but thankfully a gracious repairman fixed it in time to house the turkey. May you (& your Mama & Grandmama & family) have a Merry Christmas filled with lots of treats & warm snuggles (if you’re into that sort of thing.) 🎉🎄🎉🤗🎉🎄🎉

    • Thanks for empathizing, Miss Virginia. I Dallas would have had a hissy-fit if I’d thought the “cold box” in the kitchen had gone on the blink!! That’s where they keep the foods, and I’m a food kind of guy, you see. Merry Christmas to you and yours — treats sound perfect; snuggles, not so much, ha!!

  2. Ah, yes. Let me just say I knew about carrot peelings. Another lesson learned — unfortunately, in pretty much the same way. For some reason, I once had to get rid of some old dry food of Dixie Rose’s, and I was lucky enough to put it in the trash bag. I can’t say I was smart enough, because I didn’t know that about kibble!

    • Miss Linda, Mama really should have put that uneaten food in a trash bag and set it out, but she said it was going to be DAYS before the collectors came, and that dragon-in-the-sink was soooo handy. Yeah, right. At least she didn’t have to pay the plumber time and a half!!

  3. Hello, Dallas!

    Well, we think your mama has no right to blame you! Mind you, we don’t blame her either – firstly, humans don’t seem to understand they don’t need garbage disposal units when there’s a dog in the house, and secondly, they never seem to appreciate the glorious natural aromas we animals create – they always want to make us smell “sweet”! We do hope your tummy problems are better now – medicinal donuts are the best thing for that!

    Love, Tommy and Tuppence xx

    • “Medicinal donuts”?? Why, Tommy and Tuppence, I don’t think I Dallas have ever heard of such a wonder! They sound magical and splendid, and I’m going to have to insist Mama buy me some straight away. And you’re so right — why Mama thinks I need to smell like coconut tanning oil is beyond me! Here’s to a lovely Christmas to you and your servant!!

  4. Works for me, though sad to say, my “wild days” ended a while ago.

    Dallas that cracked me up! You are one HILARIOUS doggie!

    However, I’m surprised to hear what the plumber told Mama about not putting “rice, noodles, onions, carrots, banana peels, cat kibble” down the disposal because when I used to have a garbage disposal in one of my previous apartments, I put in all of those things at one time or another and never had a problem.

    Anyway, glad to hear that it all worked out for the best.

    GREAT story, Dallas! You are a such a great writer!

    Wishing you and Mama and Domer a very Merry Christmas!

    Love to you all!

    • Mr. Ron, it would appear you are most lucky not to have had problems putting that stuff down the disposal! I Dallas have seen Mama toss in things that make me cringe, but she usually seems to be okay about it. I guess a rather full bag of doggie food is another story!

      It’s good hearing from you. Hope you got your shopping done and have a few days off to rest (before the season of returns swamps the stores!) The Kid is expected home any time, and I’m getting in a last-second snoozle in preparation. Love from Mama and Domer; Licks from me, heehee! xo

  5. Funny story! My husband and I have a saying…when you know better you do better. I guess you know better now. Sometimes lifes lessons are tough but when we get the lesson we are so much wiser and you now are about dog food and garbage diposals. I hope you have a great Christmas tomorrow. PS. Can you use a diaper on a dog should the problem arise again?

    • HaHa, yes, trust me, Tanya, they do have doggie diapers! I think trying to slip one onto Dallas might be one of the more difficult things I’d ever do (he likes to think he’s Houdini) though! Merry Christmas to you and yours and thanks for stopping by to read about another life lesson here!

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