Consequences? Maybe

Wisdom consists of the anticipation of consequences… ~Norman Cousins, American journalist, author, and professor

I Monkey here.

You’re never going to believe what Mama’s been up to now.

I swear, the woman invents chores, when she could be doing something constructive like watching me snooze. Huh!

A little background:

For some odd reason, this has been a WET season. Mostly rain, which pools up into squishy mud around a huge sugar maple in my back yard.

Mama gets huffy every time the weathermen remind us our area is in the middle of a drought, too.

“They should come see this hog trough,” she says.

But they haven’t.

And every time I Monkey go out to patrol the fence line or do my “business,” I can’t help but tromp through that mud. And bring it inside with me … because, why not?


Mama has to hunker on her hands and knees cleaning the floors and carpet, something she fumes mightily about.

(I Monkey might snicker but for the fact that, if I get too muddy, Mama shuts me in my crate until my paws dry. The very idea! She’s even threatened to ban me from using her laptop. Consequences, you know?)

Anyhoo, Mama regularly tells me I’m not to blame for the mud. But neither is she, and controlling the weather is outside her pay grade — whatever that means. Until we find a workable solution, we’re having to make do.

One day, Mama left for a long time. When she came back, she had an armload of stuff to carry outside, all the while ignoring my pleas to accompany her and help out. Huh.

She was out there a long time while I Monkey watched through the window. Even my barks didn’t distract her from the job at hand.

Finally, she announced she was finished and let me outside, too. This is what I saw:

It certainly wasn’t pretty.

Nor was it long-lasting, as a cold front with high winds blew through no sooner than she’d finished.

And it didn’t seem to make her happy. Why, she announced she’d ruined a perfectly good pair of shoes she’d planned on donating to charity, thanks to that gooey mud.

But the fence is merely a Band-aide anyway. It can’t keep me Monkey out. In fact, the next morning, I scented an interloping critter and charged right through it.

You should’a seen Mama’s face, heh heh!

(Whoops, consequences…)

31 thoughts on “Consequences? Maybe

  1. Oh, Monkey! I can identify with Mama. One March, the mud was so bad in our backyard that I had to put down straw in the worst areas. A friend who is a dog breeder gave me the idea, and it was a good one. Really helped. When mud season was over, the straw was relatively easy to pick up.

    • Straw, huh?? Well, I Monkey have learned something, and I’ll be passing this one on to Mama. She’s game for just about anything. She considered rocks but feared the lawn guys would blow out all the windows. She also considered mulch, but I Monkey have a penchant for chewing wood. She considered ground cover, but that apparently takes a long time to spread. Straw might be the way to go — thank you, Miss Laurie!!

      • Let me know, Monkey, what Mama decides. The straw does need to be picked once the mud is gone, but to my way of thinking, it’s well worth the extra effort to keep doggie paws and fur from getting muddy. And I figured if a dog breeder does it, then it’s a good idea.

        • Oh Miss Laurie, I Monkey think you’re right. Mama has been talking about planting grass seed in that area anyway, so she thinks straw will be necessary for keeping it safe from the birds. (I swear, the woman thinks she’s going to train the birds to stay away from her seed. Huh!) But yes, if she gets outside to do the straw, I’ll let you know.

  2. Oh Monkey! I’m glad we don’t have any mud up here, just frozen ground and quite a bit of snow. You would LOVE it! Please try not to run all over the house when you’re all muddy, ok little buddy? That’s a compromise you can make so that your mom doesn’t get so upset and you still get to go outside and play!

    • Aw, Miss Dawn, I Monkey am trying to stay out of the mud, but it’s such an “attractive nuisance,” according to Mama. And there’s this stray cat that lurks outside the fence in that corner, and gee, but I’ve got to run him off every chance I get! We’re supposed to have a COLD week here, so maybe the ground will cool off enough for the mud to stiffen up a bit.

  3. You know, I’ve experienced how helpful grasses can be when I’m hiking in muddy — or even frankly wet — conditions. Laurie’s suggestion of putting down straw sounds good. It would be easy to clean up, and it might save your mama from having to be careful to keep her language clean!

    • Heh Heh, that’s funny about Mama’s language, Miss Linda. I suppose the straw would work. I know Mama’s going to give it a try. That fence contraption of hers is next to worthless, you know.

        • You make an interesting point. I Monkey will file that away for the future. I tried that with the fence, you know. One side of it was next to impossible to get through, but conveniently, Mama left me just a tiny opening in the other side so I don’t have to jump over it!

  4. Monkey, I love your posts. You’re such a GREAT storyteller. And you are also a VERY funny canine!

    “… the fence is merely a Band-aide anyway. It can’t keep me Monkey out. In fact, the next morning, I scented an interloping critter and charged right through it.

    You should’a seen Mama’s face, heh heh!

    (Whoops, consequences…)”

    Cracked me up!

    Sorry Mama’s fence didn’t work. But maybe she’ll find another way to keep you out of the mud. NOT!

    X to you and Mama. Hope you both had a super Sunday!

    • Thanks, Mr. Ron — glad you enjoyed it! Mama’s going to try that straw suggestion of Miss Laurie’s (above). She doesn’t know if she can hoist a bale of straw, but I guess she’ll find out when she gets to the farm store. They offered to put it in the car for her, but they aren’t amenable to following her home and getting it out, heh heh. Not she’d want strangers following her home — I Monkey would protest mightily. Maybe one of the neighbors will help. Or maybe a bale of straw isn’t as heavy as we think.

      Congrats to your Eagles. Mama said they won their football game (I Monkey don’t watch football!) xx

    • I Monkey know she’s been on the phone calling places and looking for straw. I’m kind of eager to see her succeed! That would mean I can enjoy my backyard again, without dirtying up her house. Thanks for weighing in, Miss Eliza!

  5. Oh, Monkey, you certainly know how to keep your Mama on her toes! It sounds like you need some galoshes and your very own custom mudroom, but hopefully the straw suggestion will do the trick. 🙂

    • Miss Barbara, I’m not sure I Monkey would hold still for Mama to put boots on me! However, my very own mud room sounds like a great idea. Perhaps that’s what Mama’s doing when she puts me in a crate so my paws dry? And she keeps telling me that, when all this rain goes away and the snows come, the mud will firm up. Tis hard being a little Monkey!

  6. Haha, Monkey, you do make me laugh! I quite understand your Mama’s pain but tell her you’re not the only offender when it comes to mud! My little cat Tuppence used to thud through the cat flap, leave a trail of muddy pawprints across the kitchen floor, then across the carpet and then leap up onto my shoulder where she would neatly clean the remaining mud off on my sweater. And yes, there were consequences! 😉

    • Ooh, poor Tuppence! I Monkey often try to jump on Mama (muddy paws or not), but she won’t let me. I guess she doesn’t want to walk around with wet, muddy dog prints on her clothes — why, I don’t know. I think my paws are very user-friendly. Huh.

  7. I feel your pain, Monkey! Dad put up a temporary fence behind our garage in the hopes of keeping me out of the mud there. You should have seen his face the first time I ran through it….I didn’t even have to break my stride! As if a plastic fence could stop me. Glad to know it didn’t stop you either. Love, Finn

    • Finn!! At last somebody understands me Monkey! Gooey mud just feels so cool on a doggin’s feet, doesn’t it? Mama doesn’t seem to understand this. All she’s worried about is a clean house. Huh! Who cares? (Well, maybe I should at least a little … because of those consequences, you know?!)

        • Good one, Finn! Sadly — for Mama anyway — I Monkey have to tromp clear through the kitchen before hitting the carpet. Why she doesn’t like seeing my cute paw prints stamped on the floor is beyond me. Such a silly mama!

  8. Too funny! Makes me feel the slightest bit better that I can’t get a dog. The hubs says, “It’s either a dog or me!” Hmmmph now that is worth pondering….ha ha. So glad I can enjoy Monkey’s antics vicariously.

    • Miss Pat, I Monkey am happy to amuse you! Mama says having a puppy either keeps you very young-at-heart … or ages you too fast. Wonder what she means by that??

  9. Oh, Monkey. This made me laugh! Especially the part about you watching from the window (and being ignored!). I know you just want to have fun and we humans can be SO unreasonable at times!

    I hope her latest solution is holding up.

    • Surprisingly, Miss Kelly, it is! Even I Monkey am impressed — and spending way less time on a throw rug while Mama cleans my feets. Bonus: the straw smells rather sweet and kind of country!

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