A few days ago, I was chugging along on the treadmill, minding my own business, my thoughts a mile away, when I caught a glimpse of something odd.
It was a dark-colored something, and it SWOOPED through the entryway of our house.
My heart racing, I hopped off the treadmill and picked my way — tentatively! — toward the front door.
There, on the blinds covering the skinny floor-to-ceiling window beside the door, hung a BAT!
Big brown bat (image thanks to West Virginia Dept. of Natural Resources)
The thing was clinging for dear life, its head looking around, its wings sort of folded. It wasn’t making any noise.
Stifling a shriek, I called upstairs for my mom, who was peacefully watching TV. She joined me in the hall, and the two of us surveyed the bat and mulled our options.
‘We’ve got to kill it,’ she told me.
With what — a gun?
I can see us missing the bat but inserting bullet holes in the walls, the ceiling, and the floor, not to mention shattering the windowpane.
‘That’s not gonna happen,’ I said.
‘So let’s open the door, and maybe he’ll fly out.’
Right. Maybe.
By then, my Sheltie picked up on the commotion and arose from his nap. He, too, joined the party in the hall, looking around expectantly to see if this was some sort of new game.
Knowing his breed herds things, I led him to his crate — where he’d be safe and out of the way. My nerves were already raw; the last thing I needed was a manic Sheltie barking underfoot!
Meanwhile, Mom went into the garage and returned with a broom and a large Styrofoam box.
‘Here,’ she said, handing me the box. ‘I’ll move him, and you catch him, then we’ll send him back outside.’
Just like that, huh?
Before she could disturb Battie, I clamped the Styrofoam over him and held it there on the blinds.
Was he in the box? Duh, what choice did he have?
‘What do we do now?’ Mom asked.
Feeling a bit like Lucy and Ethel, I asked her to open the front door and flip on the porch light. Then I slid the box (hoping Battie was still inside) toward the door and gave the thing a shove.
The box fell to the floor; Battie wasn’t in it.
Uh-oh, could he have made his way back into the house?
We conducted a frantic search but found no bat.
‘He must’ve gone out,’ Mom decided. ‘Both of us were at the door, and neither of us saw him come back in.’
Let’s hope, I thought.
It’s been a few days now and no more bat, so we must have succeeded. Since then, I’ve done a bit of research and learned we did most of the right things — surprise!
But don’t call us for your exterminating needs!
P.S. Happy Thanksgiving to all my blogging friends! May your tables be laden with food, your homes filled with family and friends, your hearts cheered with laughter, and your spirits overflowing with gratitude. I’m taking a few days off; will return after the turkey-feast.
Musings by an ND Domer's Mom 
That reminds me of my recent run-in with a rat. At least mine didn’t get in the house. Hope you did indeed get rid of Battie. Would hate to have him re-emerge suddenly, perhaps leaping out of the turkey just as you’re getting ready to serve it. Sheesh!
I think Battie must really be gone — we haven’t seen him (or any of his relatives!) since we shooed him out. I don’t think I’d have slept a wink if I’d thought he was lurking somewhere (like inside the turkey!)
Blech… I have the heebie-jeebies from reading that. I am so proud of you for dealing with the bat! I have to muster all the courage I have just to kill a spider!
I don’t particularly like spiders, either, but snakes really give me the creeps! I wasn’t too fond of seeing this bat, but we’d had one earlier when my dad was alive, so I kind of knew what I was dealing with. Still, yuck!
A bat? Wow you handled it so well. I have known people that have had them in their homes that have not done near as good a job. And of-course your favorite son was not home, right? Of perhaps he is like Cole not into being big, brave and strong during these moments. Unless he can shoot it.
The one thing I can not handle-ever is the three letter rodent that is bigger than a mouse. I think someone mentioned it ^^^. They frighten me all out of proportion and I hate that I’m such a baby about it but it’s a fear I have not been able to overcome.
Katybeth, I don’t do rats, either! They’re too big to step on (much like snakes!). Honestly, critters don’t belong in the house (and I’m not counting my Sheltie because he’s just a people in a fur-suit!). You’re right — Domer wasn’t home yet. In fact, when I told him about Battie, he was quick to question whether it was really gone before he made the trip home!
Happy Thanksgiving to you, too, Debbie. Best wishes.
I’m glad I took a few days off, Lynne — it was wonderfully refreshing. Of course, it’s going to take me some time to play catch-up, but that goes along with it, huh?
Thanks for another witty story, Debbie. You always make me laugh! A broom and open door usually worked in my house. Happy Thanksgiving to you & your family as well.
Kathy, it’s nice to know ours isn’t the only house targeted by bats! I think there must be a whole family of them living in my neighbor’s tree. He’s not too concerned over it, but maybe he doesn’t take out trash after dark, allowing them access to the warm indoors. Thanks for your kind words!
Ick! Time to put the house up for sale 😉
I love the image of Lucy and Ethyl trying to get the bat out of the house – made me chuckle.
I hope you have a wonderful Thanksgiving!
I did have a wonderful Thanksgiving, Janna, and hope you did, too. I was a little hesitant about taking some time off from blogging, but it was a good decision — I feel refreshed and ready to get back to work!
Deb…You are my she-ro because I would have ran out of the house and called the POLICE!!!!! I would have NEVER went back in that house until I saw that bat gone.
Debbie…you have been a blessing to a lot of people through your blogs and I pray that blessing comes right back to you 10 fold. God bless you and your family and may you have a happy and save holiday.
XOXO,
Tanya
Ah, Tanya, what a sweet thing to say — thank YOU for all your kind words! I don’t like flying things inside (and that includes birds — never could see how someone could keep parakeets, etc. even if they were in a cage!). Looking back on it, my mom’s suggestion to get the gun and shoot that bat might have made more sense, haha!
Great story! We had a similar thing happen several years back except it was not a bat but a flying squirrel. The cat was a much better help to us in the rescue than the dog was!
I don’t think things with wings belong in houses! That said, you’re fortunate the cat was there to help out; my poor Sheltie was no good at all!
Debbie, first of all, let me commend you and your mother for your bravery. I would never have had the courage to try to capture a bat. No can do. Second, I’m glad you protected the Sheltie, since you never know how animals can react to one another. Indeed, you did do everything right! That said, personally, I would be driving myself mad wondering where the bat had gone off to. Why must life be so complicated, friend? 🙂
Bella, you make me laugh! I suppose Battie was thinking life is complicated, too. All he probably wanted was to swoop through and see what was going on; instead, he found two crazies with a broom and a Styrofoam box! As for bravery, not me — my heart still pounds when I think about this!
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