Fancy-Pants has a hurt foot

You can thank me for this later.

Last week, Mom had a doctor’s appointment so I chauffeured her in her fancy-pants car.

I don’t particularly like driving it. I wasn’t the one who picked it out or did the test-drive. She likes it; that’s what’s important.

Anyway, after her appointment — which went w-a-a-a-y longer than it should have, causing me to become even farther behind in my work than I needed! — I took off from my parking space, headed for home.

Yes, I was flustered. And in a bit of a hurry. But in my defense, I wasn’t driving with Road Rage. Or like a bat out of h-e-double matchsticks.

As I came to an intersection with no Stop sign for me, a battered heap of a car was stopped on my right. Fearing that Mom’s fancy-pants car wouldn’t have sufficient room to make the right turn without kissing the front end of the trash-mobile, I narrowed my turn.

Little did I realize the curb would reach out and grab Fancy-Pants by its right back foot!

An awful noise ensued, and the tire indicator light on the dashboard illuminated.

Since I’ve driven Fancy-Pants before, I assumed the light was telling me the tire pressure was uneven.

Every time the weather changes (particularly when it gets colder), this light goes on. You see, this is Fancy-Pants, and it wants to alert you that conditions are unpleasant for it.

So I hit the OK button and proceeded on my way.

At least I’d missed the trash-mobile.

Driving along, I noticed Fancy-Pants wasn’t behaving in his usual manner.

He was struggling. And groaning. And making thumping noises.

I listened to the car while Mom was regaling me with everything of importance that happened at the doctor’s office.

Then something told me to check that tire indicator light again.

Whoops! This time, the message told me the right rear tire had NO pressure.

Well, actually it indicated the number “1.”

In big orange lights.

I pulled to the curb, hopped out to check, and there it was — a tire as flat as the proverbial pancake.

We called a local tire repair shop, a guy met us and exchanged our “ruined” tire for a spare, sending us on our way.

Naturally, they have to order a special tire. We’re talking about Fancy-Pants, remember?

So my advice is this — watch out for curbs.

Particularly curbs that have deteriorated from construction or bad weather.

They’ll get you!

20 thoughts on “Fancy-Pants has a hurt foot

  1. Sorry about Fancy Pants run in with the curb. Curbs will get you every time. In Ireland they nail the tourists so often that there is almost always a tire shop within spitting distance. In Chicago, right now it’s the OMG pot holes.
    Cole’s Audi is a great car, but when it has issues it is always a big deal…my van roles with the punches…on the other hand his car has seat warmers…And I wonder why Fancy Pants just couldn’t say Flat Tire. Seems simple enough to me.

    • Fancy Pants has seat warmers, too — that’s about its only feature I appreciate! Pot holes can be incredibly dangerous, and the way they just pop out of nowhere makes them even worse. I’ll have to remember that about Ireland (for when I finally get over the pond!)

  2. Well, now that you have to wait for Fancy Pant’s tire to arrive at least, you won’t have to drive him again for awhile…that’s the only bright side I could come up with for the inconveniece!

    • Suzi, you are a woman after my own mind! Not having to drive him again for a few days is a fabulous benefit — my own car gets me around just fine, and Mom doesn’t even seem to mind traveling in it, just as long as she gets to town. Thanks for a day-brightener!

  3. “Little did I realize the curb would reach out and grab Fancy-Pants by its right back foot!”

    Debbie, when I used to have a car and drove, I had that exact same thing happen to me. And not only once, but many times. It never caused a flat tire, but it did scratch the underside of the car’s body – OUCH!#!

    You tell a story so well, dear lady!

    Have a marvi Monday!


    • Ron, thank you for the compliment. I’m glad to hear I’m not the only one who has a bit of trouble with curbs. Fortunately, Fancy Pants didn’t get his belly scratched, but I’m afraid his shoe is worthless! And, being so fancy and all, he demands very Fancy hoofs!!

  4. Debbie, you turn a mundane day into an adventure! Sometimes the fancier these cars are , the more that can go wrong. At least in Fancy Pants’ case. Hopefully Fancy Pants will give you a rest and let you get some work done!

    • On the contrary, Kathy. Mom misses excursions in Fancy-Pants, and she’s not gonna rest until his foot has healed and he’s back on the road, haha! That was a nice thought, though, being able to get a bit of work done while he’s out of commission!

  5. I wonder if Fancy-Pants’ tire pressure graphic looks like the one on the Hipstermobile, which always seemed sort of superficially judgmental if you ask me. That thing was always lighting up.

    • Fancy-Pants is very judgmental. He seems to question my every move, reminding me when it’s time for service, demanding I put another pound of pressure in a tire, insisting that front seat passengers (even the slimming down Sheltie!) buckle up. He’s a true Nanny-mobile!!

  6. Hmmmmm….. I wonder if Fancy Pants and Princess should be introduced? Probably not. Princess has a high-falutin’ name, but she’s pretty down home. Her greatest attribute is that she doesn’t really have much to say, except to remind me to put on my seat belt, and gently suggest that perhaps I would like to shut that rear door. 😉

    • Princess sounds like my kind of car — one that assumes you have a brain in your head! Fancy-Pants, on the other hand, tends to believe he’s surrounded by idiots and needs to remind them of everything! I’m sure he thinks it’s quite a comeuppance having a hurt foot (and having to wear that sorry spare!!)

  7. I’m sure having to wait for someone to come meet you to replace the tire, set you back, work-wise, Debbie, but I’m glad it wasn’t something more major. Love the name you’ve dubbed the car. Gave me a chuckle.

    • Thanks for putting up with my silliness, Monica! It’s probably pretty obvious I don’t like the car, but I really didn’t disable it on purpose!!

  8. Oh, that’s frustrating – you traded one hazard for another! I’ve gotten a curb or twenty in my driving career. In high school, when I was learning to drive, my dad bought road hazard on the tires and was in about once month for replacement. I’m pretty sure I was the laughing stock of the repair shop. Sigh.

    • Sorry, Janna, but your story cheered me up a lot! Sometimes it’s just hard to know exactly how wide and long the car you’re driving, is, huh? Sounds like your dad had a pretty good sense of humor — at least you kept getting the car keys, heehee!

  9. Hahaha! Well, upon reading the title, I wondered who Fancy Pants was! I’m glad he’s a car and not a person! Funny how a flat tire doesn’t feel immediately obvious, isn’t it?

    • You’re right, Terri! I was always under the impression you’d feel a flat, that the car would rock and make all sorts of horrendous noises. Believe me, it was good and flat before we noticed, ha!

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