Domer’s First Visit Home

My Favorite Domer (my son) drove down from the Land of the North to celebrate Thanksgiving with us in Central Illinois.

He thought it would be warmer.

He was wrong.

What’s important is, we were together. To rest. And renew.

And remind ourselves why every day really should be Thanksgiving.

Because we have so much to be thankful for.

Bet you didn’t catch that I said Domer drove down. That’s important, you know.

When he was in college, he didn’t want a car. His closest friends didn’t have one. Those who did had to park out in the boonies, where periodically there would be a rash of tire-slittings, theft, mischief.

Nothing Domer wanted to bother with.

So he sold the car he had in high school and banked the money for the day when he’d get another set of wheels.

I like how practical he is about stuff like that.

When he was in college, because he didn’t have a car, I drove to South Bend to pick him up, helped him finish packing, load the car, and drove home (usually as he slept the peaceful slumber of the innocents). When vacation was over, I did it all in reverse, grateful when he spelled me off with a couple hours of driving.

That didn’t happen this time. He did the packing. And the loading. And the driving.

Half of me — okay, maybe more than half! — misses the old days.

I miss being needed. I miss the extra “together-time.”

The certainty that he’s home and back, safe and secure, without incident.

All I could do this time was help him load his car, make sure his phone was charged and he had spending money.

That, and pray.

Because today he’s driving back to the Land of the North. Back to his apartment and job. His new life.

And I’m trying hard not to hover. To fret.

Though I admit to pacing the floor a little and jumping on the phone when it rings.

And I know I won’t breathe until I learn he’s safely back.

Just part of being a parent, huh?

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21 thoughts on “Domer’s First Visit Home

  1. It is definitely a part of being a mom, in my humble opinion! And you know what? It never ever goes away as far as I can tell. Always happy to get that text “I’m home, Mom” so I can relax. Glad you had such a nice time —I am always feeling better when I feel needed. :-)

    • I’m SURE it never goes away — my mom still worries about me when I’m on the road or in the air, and I’ve been driving safely lots longer than poor Domer! Thanks for commiserating, Beth Ann!

  2. So impressive that Domer had the foresight to save the money when he sold his high school car. You know, I bet when people asked Domer where he was going for the holidays, he said “home.” And even if he said, to visit my Mom–he thought “home.” I still think of home as where my parents live. And maybe (I’m not there yet )”home base,” is best way to be needed when our kids reach adulthood. Breath, you’ll be fine and yep, it’s just part of being a Mom.

    • Astute observation, Katybeth — yes, I’ll always think of “home” as wherever my mom is. And I’m pretty sure Domer follows suit. When I finally got that “I’m home” text, followed a couple of hours later by an actual phone call, all the worries and frets melted away. Now, if I can just get rid of this headache ;)

  3. Oh Debbie, I bet having Domer home again was one of the BEST Thanksgiving presents EVER! I felt so happy for you reading this post!

    “So he sold the car he had in high school and banked the money for the day when he’d get another set of wheels.”

    VERY smart guy he is! GO, Domer!

    “And I know I won’t breathe until I learn he’s safely back.

    Just part of being a parent, huh?”

    Yup, and I’m not even a parent and I know I would feel the same as you.

    Glad you had a great Thanksgiving Day holiday, dear lady!

    X

    • Thanks for sympathizing, Ron. It was SUCH a relief to learn he’d made it safely home. And I was glad he didn’t have to fight the end-of-the-holiday traffic AND will have an entire day to recoup before returning to work Monday.

      His visit WAS a wonderful Thanksgiving present, much better than fighting some random shopper for 60 percent off on a big-screen TV!!

      Hope your Thanksgiving went exceptionally well!

  4. Of course I didn’t have kids, but from what I could observe of my mom – yep, it’s just part of being a parent.

    I’m so glad he came home, and that you had such a great holiday. Honestly, he sounds remarkably responsible. I suspect some good/great parenting had something to do with that.

    • Aw, shucks, Linda, thanks! Of course, he’s blessed with a lot more financial acumen than I am, but we’re both “first kids,” so I imagine that’s why the responsibility gene is so prominent.

      Our kids like to think we don’t worry, that we trust them. And we do. But worrying (or maybe it’s just “being concerned,” is part and parcel for the job. Now that he’s safely back home, I can enjoy the rest of my evening! Hope your Thanksgiving was wonderful!

  5. I’m so glad he drove down to visit for Thanksgiving. I hadn’t thought about it, but I suppose a lifetime of worry accompanies being a parent. (I’m 40 and my parents- Mom especially- ask me to text or call when I get home :))

    • I’m sure you, too, have learned your mom’s lesson well — and will find yourself doing the exact same thing with your boys. It’s like we don’t think we’re worriers, and we certainly wouldn’t choose to be, but it’s ingrained in us. Perhaps that’s the price we pay for all the joys we get at being moms?!!

  6. I’m a little late to the table (because I’m down in Arizona enjoying these new born twins and all the family gathered – but still wishing you happiness and fullness with him home. Enjoy!

    • Good to hear from you, Barb, and I’m glad you’re enjoying the new twins! AND warmer weather!! Hope your Thanksgiving was grand — you, too, have much to be grateful for this year!

  7. I Ask God for traveling mercies for myself and my loved ones everyday and thank Him always after the day is over and we’re all safe. Many never made it back home this Thanksgiving. I’m so glad your wonderful son benefited from a mother prayer this weekend. God is Good!

    “Just part of being a parent, huh?”

    Girl….you just go right on being….a parent!!!!!!!!

    • Thank you, Tanya. I hope you and your family had a wonderful Thanksgiving holiday, too. Yes, “traveling mercies” covers it well, and I’m certain only the Grace of a Good God could have provided them!

    • At this time of year, with the weather being so very iffy, Pat, we especially pray for safe traveling conditions. Since Domer didn’t do much driving while he was in college (because of the lack of a car), I can’t help being concerned that he’s not in as much practice as he needs!

  8. I know how you feel, from enjoying the togetherness of the car ride to worrying that he got himself safely back home. I don’t think I’ll ever let my kids off the hook with calling or texting to let me know they got back okay.

    So glad you got to have some time with Domer. I know how much you miss him.

    • Terri, I truly do miss him! It’s one thing to have them in college, when you’re still a big part of their lives; it’s another for them to be making their own way in the world, working, living far away, etc. I know you understand this, and I’m glad to soak up the parenting tips you pass along periodically — I learn soooo much from my blogging friends!

  9. How nice Domer drove home for the holiday. He’s gotten quite self-sufficient, hasn’t he? Hope you had a wonderful Thanksgiving. Try not to worry too much, though. Whatever happens is going to happen with or without your worrying. It’s exactly what I’m trying not to do. You think it’s easy knowing my daughter is living in the big city, known for its crime rate? I try not to think about it; otherwise I’d be a basket case all the time. Sigh.

    • Well, there *is* that, Monica. At least Domer’s city isn’t as immense as your daughter’s, nor does it share the Windy City’s reputation. Let’s just pledge not to worry together! Somehow, it does help knowing other parents are going through just what we are, doesn’t it?!

      • I think we can both take comfort in knowing we raised our children well. They’re sensible, practical kids who know how to look out for themselves, take safety measures when needed, and not to dumb stuff like jumping from planes or going out for a stroll in the middle of the night, alone.

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