Get ’em, Mama!

Dallas here.

Since none of you has the honor of seeing my mama in action, I thought I’d tell you about yesterday, when she conjured her inner Celtic Warrior Princess persona.

It went down like this:

Mama went outside to sprinkle a pinch of blessed salt and say her Prayer to St. Joseph. We were watching a line of thunderstorms approaching, and Mama wanted all the protection she could get. The Kid (AKA Domer) teases her it’s like carrying a “Lucky Monkey,” but I’m with Mama. It works!

Now I wanted to help, but Mama left me inside, promising to “just be a few minutes.” Anybody who knows Shelties knows we don’t tell time, and even a few minutes away from our mama/hero is too long!

Anyway, Mama was turning to come back in when she saw TWO snakes lying on the patio underneath the table and chairs! I heard her shriek, and boy, did I want to see what was going on then, but all I could do was pace and worry. And listen.

Convinced those snakes were “getting busy” and trying to make more snakes, Mama started grumbling and stomped across the yard to where the hoe is kept.

Calling those snakes a bunch of colorful adjectives, Mama grabbed that hoe and marched back. She scooted the chairs around — to make ’em move, you know — and when the snakes slithered out like coils, Mama brought that hoe up and chopped one’s head clean off!

Then she scooped it up with the hoe, carried it across the backyard, and slung it into the field behind our house. Like so:


I circled it so you could see it better!

Nasty, huh??

Anyway, Mama returned to the scene of the killing, looking for Snake #2, but it was long gone. What do you bet Mama killed the man-snake and we’ll still have babies everywhere?? (Shh, don’t tell her I said that!)

When she saw snake blood and guts on the patio, she grumbled some more and dragged over the hose and a broom to clean up the mess (so I wouldn’t have to). She’s such a good mama!

Happy Mother’s Day, everyone, and may your yards be snake-free!!

27 thoughts on “Get ’em, Mama!

  1. Are you sure you didn’t kill a good snake? Most of them are good, not bad, and they do things like eat mice and rats. On the other hand, I have to admire your technique. A hoe’s better than a 20 gauge on concrete!

    I’ve never heard of the salt and St. Joseph practice. I’ll have to keep that in mind for hurricane season. Isn’t St. Joseph the one whose statue sometimes is buried upside down to help with house selling? I remember that from one of my Polish Catholic friends, but the details are fuzzy.

    In any event, Happy Mother’s Day! If you see another snake, don’t get confused and sprinkle him with salt!

    • Miss Linda, my mama says only a dead snake is a good snake! I think she took to heart the Bible story of Adam and Eve’s fall!! We’ve since looked up Mr. or Miss Snake and found it to be a common garter snake. Probably harmless, but better safe than sorry (especially since the two of them were hanging about dangerously close to my favorite outside napping spot!!)

      As far as St. Joseph is concerned, yes, his statue is the one said to help with the sale of a house. Grandma is Italian, and her culture has a special reverence for the saint ( I imagine one could use holy water and accomplish the same thing, but it seems odd to toss out water and pray for safety against a deluge, heehee!!

  2. All Hail Hoe Swinging Debbie. Well Done! A good snake lives in the field behind the house NOT on the patio. I’m sure snake #2 slithered away as quickly as it could and spread the hiss… stay away from Debbie, Dallas, and GrandDomer. Happy Mother’s Day.

    • Happy Mother’s Day to you, too, Miss Katybeth! Yep, my mama’s right there with you — a snake living on the patio could easily slither right into the house when she lets me in or out, and then what would she do??

      We can only hope Snake #2 is spreading the distress call! We don’t need any more of his kind lurking about. Mama is starting to wonder about me, though — I go outside and never even seem to bother with snakes. Perhaps they have no scent?!

  3. Wow Dallas, you and Mama had some excitement going there yesterday, didn’t you?
    Amazing photograph of the snake. Looks like something out of National Geographic!

    I used to live in Florida, where snakes are prevalent. Not only would they be outside on the patio and under the bushes, but sometimes they would get INSIDE the house. Yikes!

    Love when you post, Dallas! You are such an excellent writer because you’re good at both humor and drama 🙂

    Please tell Mama I wish her a HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY, okay?

    X to you both!

    • Snakes inside??? Oh, Mr. Ron, you have GOT to be kidding! No way could Mama sleep if she thought a snake was slithering around inside! It’s bad enough, knowing one could slide in when she opens the door so I can go out — and it’s bad enough watching so bats don’t fly in! Goodness!!

      Getting that picture was kinda funny, really. The first place Mama looked, the snake wasn’t there. She thought either she hadn’t killed it good enough, or perhaps it had resurrected! Then, she moved a yard or so to the right, and there it was — whew!!

      You’re making my furry face blush with your kind words! Here’s hoping you have a beautiful Sunday, with lots of wonderful memories of your moms!!

    • Professor, Mama wouldn’t let me at ’em. Last year, when she killed one out in the yard, she did that squealing thing, and I raced back and forth barking to beat the band! So much FUN, I’m telling you! But I am NOT a snake-murderer, like Mama. They do their thing, and I do mine, so we’re cool. What would Rommel have done??

    • Thanks, Miss Audrey. My mama — she’s a brave one, I tell you! I think she got especially miffed when the thing raised its head and flicked its tongue at her, ha! Hope your Mother’s Day was lovely — and snake-free!

    • HeeHee! She was pretty amazing, Miss FF — at least, from what I could hear on the other side of the door! Perhaps it’s her Irish nature to drive away snakes??!

  4. Looks like a common garter/ribbon snake…completely harmless, and in fact good for the environment, though I admit I don’t like finding them in my flower beds. We take them and relocate them. They give me the heebie jeebies, so I “let” the hubby relocate them, ha!

    • Sadly, Domer wasn’t around to “let” him have the privilege, Suzi — and I imagine if he thought I was saving up this chore for his visits, he’d find an excuse to stay away from here, ha!

      Yes, I do believe this was a garter snake. I’ve found more than my share in the yard of late (hmm, I wonder if my neighbors are relocating them here??)

    • Miss Kim, that poor headless snake is better off in the field than on Mama’s patio! At least he (she?) can rest in peace — if Mama had seen him slithering around ME while I was napping, I hate to think what she’d have done!! xoxo

  5. That’s quite a Mother’s Day tale,Debbie! Behind that sweet smile is a warrior. Poor snake, Too bad he or she wandered onto your patio. My husband names them and considers them our friends in that they eat the rodents. I,however, am happy to keep my distance from them. Hope you had a nice Mother’s Day in spite of the drama!

    • Somehow I missed seeing your lovely comment, Miss Kathy — so sorry! Yes, Mama had a fine Mother’s Day — no more snakes, heehee! Well, I suppose that’s because we’ve been having cool, rainy weather, and those varmints seem to prefer coming out when it’s sunny. Friends?? Hmm, not so sure about that one!

    • Hey Manee, and Welcome! Thanks so much for stopping by my little corner of the world. You know, you’ve got a point there! But BOTH make me a bit squeamish!

  6. I had to laugh at the comment about killing the man snake… yep, that would be my luck! I had a similar encounter with a field mouse in a wood pile last year and it was horrifying (I used a shovel, though.)

    • You beat it to death with a shovel?? Go, Janna — you’re a force to be reckoned with! Now I know who to call when the lady-snake shows up, with lots of babies in tow, ha!!

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