Monkey’s New Job

Many people quit looking for work when they find a job. ~Author unknown

I Monkey here.

For a long time (I’m two, so that’s a long time!), I’ve been trying to figure out what my job is around these parts.

Everybody has to have a job.

Some get paid. Others don’t.

But a job keeps us busy and, as Mama would say, out of mischief.

So I Monkey have been trying on all sorts of jobs, hoping to find one I like.

One that Mama approves of.

Those aren’t necessarily the same thing, you see.

Anyway, here are some of the ones I’ve tried, along with our reactions:

1) Barker at the doorbell. (Huh. Mama’s got good ears, and she doesn’t need me to tell her when there’s a package — or a person — at the door. Or so she says.)

2) Jumper at Mama when she sneezes or blows her nose. (Mama doesn’t seem to appreciate how much I’m helping. That noise hurts my ears, and she really shouldn’t have to sound as if she’s exploding just to get a sneeze out. Right?)

3) Picker-up of stuff on the floor. Or our walks. (I never feel full, so why does she chide me for licking up crumbs and finding interesting smelly things somebody else left behind? You’d think she’d be grateful not to have to mop. Huh.)

4) Yowler at that screechy flute-thing. (I ask you, Does Mama have to drag it out every single day? No, I don’t think so either.)

5) Shredder. (My personal favorite, but Mama fusses. Every time. Gee, doesn’t she realize how much fun it is to snatch a scrap of paper, carry it off without her knowledge, and tear it to itty-bitty bits all over the rugs?)

Mama seems happiest when I walk nicely (read: calmly) on the leash with her. When I curl up in her lap for cuddles. When I fetch my toys. When I do something that makes her laugh (Zoomies in the back yard, anybody?). When I finish my foods. When I potty outdoors (even in the snow and rain).

Gosh, Mama, I do those things sort of automatically now. I’m not a baby!

Needless to say, it was a surprise when I learned she likes me to Find Money.


One walk, I found a five dollar bill, and she almost danced with glee.

A few weeks later, I found a twenty! You’d have thought she’d won the lottery. She scooped it up fast as you please, looked around to see if anybody was out searching for it, and when nobody was, she pocketed it.

At first, she didn’t think it was real. Because some idiot back in October had given out fake, oversized hundred dollar bills to the Trick-or-Treat’ers (who’d have probably rather had chocolate).

That twenty was real though, and Mama was joyous.

I guess now you can call me Monkey, Finder of Money.

You know, it’s not half-bad, having a job.

17 thoughts on “Monkey’s New Job

  1. Monkey, what a wonderful way to have to my morning coffee; reading one of your hilarious posts!

    You and I have something very much in common, sir. I too am a Finder of Money. And I kid you not! Walking down the street, I have found anything from a few dollar bills to a 10.00 bill, and even a 20.00. And one time when I was in the grocery store, while walking down one of the aisles, I found 40.00 (two twenties). OMG, I found like I had just hit the lottery! And I used that 40.00 to pay for my groceries, and even had money left over!

    Love that photo of you in your spiffy jacket. You look excellent in blue!

    X to you and Mama! Happy Monday!

    P.S. I too sneeze loudly.

    • You too, Mr. Ron?? I Monkey am happy to find money since it seems to make Mama so happy! She’s always finding coins, but I’ve got her beat by a long shot. A twenty — huh!

      I’m glad you like my jacket. It’s lined with soft flannel and makes winter walks so enjoyable.

      Do you think loud sneezes are common to Italians? Grandma really sounds like she’s going to explode when she does it (though I dare not jump at her, or Mama will fuss at me!) xx

    • Really, Miss Eliza?? I Monkey had no idea. It just kind of smelled interesting to me, so naturally it went right into my mouth. I wasn’t too happy when Mama took it from me, but if she traded it for food, then that’s okay!

  2. That’s a great job, Monkey! And you didn’t even need a treasure map! Your other job attempts are very imaginative – it’s a pity your Mama is so hard to please. Maybe she just needs to be trained better. Keep doing all the jobs and eventually she’ll get used to them… 😉

    • HaHa, Miss FF, you’re my cup of tea! I Monkey love the idea of continuing to pursue those other jobs … especially Shredder. I so love stealing bits of cardboard, notepads, scraps of paper, and so on, then tearing them to tiny bits! Mama fusses every time, but so what? Keeps her on her toes!

  3. Monkey, maybe we should come up with a new word for your discovery. “Found money” sounds so blah. “Monkey Money” has a much better ring to it. Not only that, it pays tribute to your ability to pay attention to what’s around you. Of course, being closer to the ground probably helps!

    • Well, Miss Linda, I Monkey think that *sometimes* Mama might prefer I wasn’t so observant. Finding cigarette butts, candy wrappers, bird suet, and other smelly things is fun for me, but she doesn’t like that everything has to go right into my mouth. Sheesh, how’s a pup supposed to explore this world unless I taste things?!?

  4. That sounds like a fabulous job, Monkey! But remember, no dog works for free…so I think it’s only fair that you ask your mom to spend half of the money you find on delicious treats for you. Just saying….. Love, Finn

    • Good advice, Finn — thanks for reminding me. I Monkey am still new to this world (well, relatively speaking), so I’m happy to learn from those who’ve been around the block a few times. Who knew Mama would be so thrilled when I found money? It was just another scrap of paper to me, ha!

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