Why is it I always seem to want something nobody’s making the year I want it?

I’m talking about clothes.

If I want a red polo shirt, for instance, the designers aren’t showing red. If I want a zip-up rain jacket, all I can find are snaps.

I went on “a hunt” the other day for some denim bermudas. Not just any pair would do. They had to fit, of course, and just about every pair I tried on looked as if I’d poured myself into them.

Don’t look now, but where are all those super-skinny women? Not in my town, that’s for sure!

Besides fit, what I really wanted was cargo pockets (even one would do!) tucked along the side of the leg. For my cell phone.

How hard can that be?

They make plenty of twill shorts with cargo pockets; they make crops with cute little ties at the leg openings AND cargo pockets.

They make denim skimmers that skim your knee. And denim capris. And crops. And full-length jeans. And short-shorts.

But no denim bermudas.

Finally, I got the idea to check the men’s section.

There were my bermudas, with cargo pockets no less!

But how many women can really wear men’s shorts? If you get the waist to fit, the hips and seat look like the Jones family moved out.

And is the circumference of a man’s leg really that much larger than a woman’s?

No, I’ll pass on that!

So, if you hear of any place that’s selling denim Bermudas with cargo pockets (for women), let me know, OK?