Note: I don’t usually write poetry. This one came to me out of nowhere (after reading it, you’ll probably say I should’ve left it there!). But we’re all friends, right? So I’m open to criticism, suggestions, comments. Here goes:
He’d never believed in Love at First Sight.
Right. This. Moment.
She cruised in, looking far more captivating
than anyone had a right to do on a Tuesday afternoon.
Wearing a black-as-midnight dress,
A come-hither look in her eyes.
And when the lights found her, she glowed.
Summoning courage, he made his way toward her.
Head uplifted, heart pounding, shoulders squared.
Would he be enough man for her?
“Sorry, pal. She’s taken.”
Stricken, he gaped at the killjoy dousing his flaming desire.
Then he saw the sign affixed to her rear window —
And his heart fell.
Debbie, this is great! I love to read something that makes me smile in the end. And I REALLY didn’t think the ending is where your poem was going! 😉
Thanks, Terri. I’m glad it was a surprise!
Like where you took it!
High praise from a real poet, Suzi. Thank you!
Debbie this was faaaaaaaabulous! And you TOTALLY got me with the ending.
Happy New Year, my friend!
Ron, your words are music to my ears! Thank you, both for being a friend AND for indulging my efforts here. Hugs, and Happy 2015!
Oh you had me, Debbie, you had me. A beautiful midnight beauty.
Gee, thanks, Barb. That glow you see is me blushing!
Delightful! I love the surprise at the end.
Awesome, Linda. I’m glad it was a surprise — it kinda was for me, too, ha! Thanks for reading and letting me know.
Happy 2015, Ms. Poet! xx
Aw, Kim, you are so sweet to read and compliment — thank you, my dear friend. Hugs and Happy New Year to you and yours!
Haha. Awesome. Happy New Year, Debbie
Audrey, I’m just going to consider this high praise. You REAL poets are the ones who make us see things — and feel things — we might normally resist. Thank you for letting me know this one hit the mark! Happy 2015 to you, too!
Real? Oh my, I am going to accept your description. ..even if it humbles me greatly. You did just fine!
Bless you for saying that (and making me blush!)
I liked it lots! I think you do more of this. I do feel a bit bad for the bloke, though.
You like it? Seriously? Golly, thanks — that’s high praise from a professor!! It was fun to write. Different from my usual, though. And yes, I rather felt sorry for the chap, too.
I do think you should do more!
Okay, if you say so. But don’t complain when I do!
Hi Debbie, I love this, especially the surprise ending! 😀
Thank you, Thank you! I’m glad it came out as a surprise — it did for me! Glad you came along and left your thoughts, too! Now I’m off to check out your blog.
Ugh, been there. And then came that day when I found the one, worn upholstery and all.
Good to see you back here, Oma! Hey, at least you finally found the one, right?!
I enjoyed this! Totally didn’t expect the ending, and I felt kind of bad about his crushed dreams 🙂
Janna, coming from you, that’s a super compliment — thank you, my friend. You’re the queen of unexpected endings, you know!
Debbie, glad to see you getting out of your writing comfort zone and dabbling in something new. Good job! Very enjoyable, indeed!
Do you see me blushing, Monica?! Thank you so much for saying this. Poetry is definitely outside my comfort zone. Somehow, one feels practically naked when one puts poetry out there!!