Family quarrels are bitter things. They don’t go by any rules. They’re not like aches or wounds; they’re more like splits in the skin that won’t heal because there’s not enough material. ~F. Scott Fitzgerald

Families shouldn’t be war zones.
One person not talking to another;
One saying hurtful things about the others.
Families shouldn’t be war zones.

We can’t choose our family.
Our friends? Yes, and sometimes they’re
Closer to us than our blood relations.
We can’t choose our family.

Pray together, stay together,
So the adage goes.
But too often, prayer goes unanswered,
And rifts become chasms
With no meeting of the minds.
Leaving behind heartache, loneliness,
Confusion, worry, fear, and anger.

Let there be spaces in your togetherness,
The Prophet advises.
A balance between separation and connection
Seems difficult to attain
When one wants to control and another
Refuses to be controlled.

Perhaps unconditional love is merely a myth,
And the family you’re stuck with
Isn’t the one you’d have chosen
If you’d had a choice.
Which you didn’t.
Trust, once broken, becomes doubt.
Drama belongs in novels and on stage,
Not in holiday gatherings of loved ones.

Some people, you know, are just toxic.
They nag, criticize, demand, and throw tantrums
Every time they don’t get their way.
They never get enough
Love, attention, presents, money.
Being around them requires super-human patience;
Breaking free of their sphere feels invigorating.
Some people, you know, are just toxic.

Note: Happy Thanksgiving, everyone! Domer is home and we’re celebrating enthusiastically! Sadly, not all family gatherings are happy ones — may your family dramas be nil and your holiday easy and peaceful!