She’s Somebody’s Grandma

Every man desires to live long, but no man would be old. ~Jonathan Swift

You made the decision to tuck her away in a “facility”
Where she’s with people in her own age group.
Caregiving isn’t your calling, you insist,
So this was the best choice.
Best for whom?

She’s happy, you say.
Look how well they feed her.
She’s got access to doctors
And new friends.
There’s a chapel for services,
Someone to cut and style hair,
And she doesn’t have to clean house.
They offer planned activities
Like arts and crafts
And television.
Just like being at home.

But it seems to me that growing old
Might be hard enough
Without having to be isolated too.

It’s not my fault, you say,
That she’s lived so long.
She’s had a good life,
A long life.
At least she can afford
A nice place for her golden years.

You can’t know what it’s like though.
You don’t ever visit
Or call
Or write.
So you don’t have to smell the old.
Don’t have to see the frailty.
Don’t have to hear the loneliness.
Don’t have to worry over things
Like thefts, beatings, or neglect.

Sure, she’s tucked away in a “facility,”
Sharing space with “her own kind.”

When all she wanted was to stay home.
Her own home, mind you.
You could’ve hired a housekeeper
Or a nurse or an aide.
Somebody to stay with her and
Make sure she didn’t fall
Or forget to take her pills
Or eat or bathe.
Somebody to play cards with her.
Somebody to take her for a drive
And maybe an ice cream cone.
Somebody she could laugh with
And share memories of days gone by.

I guess it’s true, you know–
Out of sight, out of mind.

Making Do

No man needs a vacation so much as the person who has just had one. ~Elbert Hubbard

I’ve missed you all something terrible, but now I’m back!

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You Should’ve Called

When the twins had colic and cut their first teeth,
When measles were making the rounds,
When storms and tornadoes cut a swath through our town,
When laundry buried us beneath.

You should’ve called.

When one took her first steps right into my arms,
When they learned to spell and to add.
When one covered the bedroom walls with plaid,
And the other ate only Lucky Charms.

You should’ve called.

When we stayed up late for yet another project at school,
When they were banned from the daddy-daughter ball.
When one took to singing, the other to basketball,
And both went to detention for breaking rules.

You should’ve called.

Term papers, braces, learning to drive,
First dates, heartbreaks, and prom.
Completing college applications with aplomb.
The pride of seeing them both thrive.

Moving away, new studies, and the oddest of roommates,
Learning how to manage their time.
Then living off campus and tackling their own grime,
And choosing a career they didn’t hate.

You should’ve called.

Together we handled every crisis, every joy.
It wasn’t always pretty or easy.
So don’t fault me for admitting I’m feeling uneasy
And questioning your intent to destroy.

You see, you didn’t call.

You sit in judgment and call me hard,
Turn up your little snub nose.
You’ll never understand the path I chose,
Nor know the love in our back yard.

Because you didn’t call.

At first I tried to make excuses for you,
But reasons sounded flimsy at best.
And eventually I came to give it a rest
When I realized the twins knew the truth.

It bears repeating, I think.
You should’ve called.

What Will They Think of Next?

I read an article in our local newspaper the other day that totally floored me. Did you know that teens are spending an average of nearly one thousand dollars these days on prom??

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Is this appropriate?

I’m probably treading thin ice here, but something happened (again!) in church this weekend, and I’ve just got to expound.

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Happy B-day, Domer

domer_bday

May you live a long life
Full of gladness and health,
With a pocket full of gold
As the least of your wealth.

May the dreams you hold dearest
Be those which come true,
May the kindness you spread,
Keep returning to you. — Irish Blessing

Happy Happy Birthday to the BEST SON EVER!! Love you bunches!

Thanks, Domer

I owe my success to having listened respectfully to the very best advice, and then going away and doing the exact opposite. — G. K. Chesterton, English author and mystery novelist

Wish I’d read that before asking my dear son to recommend a course of action on something we’d both been riding the Struggle Bus over.

It went down like this:

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Adjusting to Change

Several of my son’s friends are still in college. Some are undergrads at ND; others are in grad school or medical school in various parts of the States.

And I can’t help feeling just a wee bit jealous of the time their families get to spend with them during the holidays.

Because I only had a week with Domer.

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Debbie 1, Domer 0

I just know y’all have been waiting eagerly for me to update the kitchen knife dilemma.

So I’m pleased to inform you I was right!

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Aging Parents — Part 2

“There are only four kinds of people in the world – Those who have been caregivers, those who currently are caregivers, those who will be caregivers, and those who will need caregivers.” – Rosalynn Carter

Sobering thought, isn’t it?

When my son was little, I squeezed copious items from my To-Do List into 24 hours before toppling, exhausted, into bed at night. I didn’t think Life could get more hectic.

Was I ever wrong — raising Domer was a breeze compared to caring for his grandmother!

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